Monday, 14 August 2017

Session 148 - Devour the Flesh

A new journey embarked upon! With a number of new characters and a number of new deaths!

Since we basically teleported to a dungeon in order to give the newbie a taste of classic dungeoncrawling, I didn't get a chance to dump a bunch of lore garbage and general info. Something I shall now rectify by dumping lore garbage upon your doorstep.

Behold some things.
(This may also involve some minor retcons)

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Finally, check out this glorious map of the Barrows.
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The dungeon entrance is at Barrow 12. The other barrows are in various states, but you'll have to walk closer to check them out.
Each hex is 50 metres across, so that should give you some idea of the sheer scale of the dungeon beneath!

Alright, that's enough back-of-house admin for now. On with the things!
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- Ollie shows us what Lulu looks like after 50 years of slaughtering demons - a badass grandma.
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- I doodle Jack's skinless suicide

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- Charles draws "
Zena and Nyx keep guard while the others loot an undisturbed mound in the Barrowmaze"

Oh yea, one last thing. The florid description of James' new Elf.
Canny Childe: Diminutive starry-eyed archaics of cherubic seeming. Like unto a child of ten or eleven years in aspect but with a wry glance and a knowingness beyond their apparent youth, the Canny parasitise human dwellings where they can creep about seeking the glyphs and sigils of arcane witchery and abuse the trust they elicit in their hosts to worm their way into vaults of secret gramarye.
It's coming up on the full moon soon where Elvish powers start to wane, so be prepared for diminished power in the coming days.

Session 148 - Devour the Flesh

Campaign Date:
Friday, 20 August, 1660
Moon Phase: First Quarter
Zodiac: Leo

New Characters:- Dr Maybe, a self-proclaimed Chaosmancer who can't not chaos burst his spells
- Jack, Rake's long-lost daughter with a similar predilection towards touching stuff
- Mugg, a peat cutter turned Fighter who turned up just in time to eat a dude
- Gimlass the Brave, a Dwarven huntress who left just in time to not eat a dude
- Chiffon, artistic Canny Childe Elf obsessed with avante-garde fashion
New Backstory:
- Jack Hacker once had to use her shirt to hold a door closed and trap something inside. (Once per session, something you've plausibly trapped won't escape this session)
- Nix Neckbiter scared strangers away from her tribe's camp by being SUPER FIERCE (+1 Strength)

Enemies Defeated:- 4 tree-ghouls (100 exp)
- 4 skeletons (40 exp)
Total: 140 exp

Treasure and Equipment:
- 4 ghoul skins (200 exp)
- Envenomed ghoul claws
- A vial of deadly poison
- 1066sp, 300cp (1096 exp)
Total: 1296 exp

Exploration:- Many miles of travel (300 exp)
- 2 random encounters (100 exp)
- First party to enter Necropolis (500 exp)
- First party to enter the Bone Spire of Corpulus Thrall (100 exp)
- First party to enter the Barrowmaze (100 exp)
- Explored 4 dungeon rooms (80 exp)
Total: 1180 exp

- Things are getting weird in Moondin. Booming roars from the woods, flying man-shapes seen against the full moon, wood-masked Elves darting through the trees in great numbers, and magic is getting unreliable across the board. (50 exp)
- A good time to leave, then! The party have a last chat with the much improved Castigate Pox, who seems to have taken on a little of Rake's personality during his time as his armour. (50 exp)
- The party head out, meeting new arrivals Dr Maybe and Chiffon on the road out of town. (50 exp)
- Also in tow, POWERLAD's wife Bertha who has spent a lot of time in Moondin's library. She's brought a couple of books with her, with a view to becoming a professional medical illustrator. (50 exp)
- Elsewhere, Rake's successor Jack Hacker makes her way towards Necropolis by way of Fortress-City Fate. She doesn't go into Fate, but does get a look at the new transit line into the city on her way past. (50 exp)
- On the road between Moondin and Necropolis, the see a merchant and his guards under attack by whooping tree-ghouls aka stinky monkeys aka "Stunkies". (50 exp)
- Zena, who happened to be marching ahead at the time, is the first to notice the situation! She sprints forward to help the beleaguered guards as their boss crawls into his own cart. (50 exp)
- She cries out that she's here to help, the guards are relieved and emboldened! (50 exp)
- The ghouls jump around raking the air with their yellowed fluid-dripping claws, but despite being in their home forest terrain they do fuck all (50 exp)
- Zena catches one mid-air as it leaps and cleaves through into another which screams in anger and pain! (50 exp)
- It rakes the air with its claws in retaliation and manages to hit Zena! It's just a scratch, but numbness begins to set in around the wound. (50 exp)
- By this point, the rest of the party has caught up! Most stack up at a distance with crossbows and rune-beams, but POWERLAD rushes in! (50 exp)
- One of the guards is in trouble so POWERLAD goes into overdrive, smashing his fist through a tree and sending the stake-like splinters smashing into two of the ghouls! (50 exp)
- They die instantly, earning Bertha's love and admiration all over again. (50 exp)
-  Dr Maybe casts Reduce... but intentionally fucks up the casting. Chaos Burst! The ghoul he was casting at is reduced to a speck of dust... but only in Dr Maybe's mind. (50 exp)
- Zena pushes through the pain and drives her polearm through the last ghoul's chest, embedding it into the wagon. She passes out from the toxin as yellow bile sprays out around her. (50 exp)
- POWERLAD, realising that his trunk-punch has left a massive semicircular breach in the tree, holds it up "casually". (50 exp)
- Chiffon skins the ghouls in order to make some trendy clothing at some point down the line. It's gross, and difficult due to the goopy yellow paralysis blood. (50 exp)
- Reality shifts and it turns out the merchant and guards are new party members who just showed up! (50 exp)
- Mugg the Fighter and Gimlass the barely-clothed Dwarf are here now. Mugg has never played before, Gimlass is played by a player long thought lost. They join the party! How convenient! (50 exp)
- The party reach Necropolis, which was called Drist fifty years ago. It's Necromancer central, complete with a spire of skeletons reaching towards the sky in the centre. (50 exp)
- Jack Hacker is here! She flogs some Necromantic grimoires to a passer-by who buys them gladly but suspiciously. (50 exp)
- Rumours are sought, but not much new is learnt. There's a lot of stuff going down, basically. (50 exp)
- Corpulus Thrall, the Necromancer-General in charge of this town, is sought out also. As friends of Castigate Pox and saviours of Moondin, it's easy to get an audience! (50 exp)
- The party enter the skeletal spire and are led by shadowy figures to the inner sanctum. As they enter, they see a flock of crows swirling to create the impression of a man. (50 exp)
- The crows fly away, leaving a throne of bone which has the skin of an obese man draped over it. (50 exp)
- The skin-man's mouth opens... and he burbles out some words of welcome before slithering along the floor and slopping into an empty chair. (50 exp)
- He tells the party about Cardinal Scream, the series of birds who the party just saw leave, whose mission is to obtain more dead from the Barrowmaze for the war against the demons and mouldmen. (50 exp)
- Chiffon finds her way into a trendy post-goth party and expresses her solid and deeply-held opinions about hipster music she's only just found out about. (50 exp)
- Jack decides she needs a letter of recommendation from Corpulus Thrall, but he burbles and laughs because he has no bones and can't hold a pen. (50 exp)
- Jack thinks of a solution. As the rest of the party leaves, she sticks her entire arm into Corpulus Thrall's skin-sack body, filling out his arm like a glove. It slides in easily and Corpulus moans in ecstasy. (50 exp)
- Without pen or paper to hand, and considering anything she wrote would be in her handwriting anyway, she quickly withdraws her arm. Her skin slides easily off her muscles, leaving her whole arm skinned! She screams in rage and horror! (50 exp)
- In despair she throws herself upon her own sword, leaving Corpulus to harvest the rest of her skin. Jack dies like her father, killed by touching something everyone said was dangerous for no obvious reason (50 exp)
- In the interests of letting the new arrival experience a dungeon, we fast-travel to the Barrow Moor. A place of bog and mist and the unquiet Dead. There's a big dungeon here! (50 exp)
- After some minor confusion from yours truly, the party find themselves at a circle of standing stones surrounding a hole into the depths of the Barrowmaze. A rusty metal tripod and sodden rope allow an easy descent into the vaulted room below. (50 exp)
- Ignatius Darke, infected with Tom's rage and ennui, suddenly appears and sprints naked into the dungeon! Some passing tomb robbers are scared by this apparition and attack, but Ignatius is not slowed and keeps going until his presumed death at the hands of some undead creature or other. (50 exp)
- Nonplussed, the rest of the party approach the tomb robbers and ask them to give them the lowdown on this place. They do! (See stuff at the top of the email for stuff you should have known going in). (50 exp)
- The tomb robbers leave on good terms, heading to the entrance, while the party sets to trying to find something unlooted down here. (50 exp)
- Among several options is a bricked-up doorway. Smashing it is left to Mugg, who loudly bangs up her shovel while she breaks it down. (50 exp)
- Inside, a big squat toad statue... and many unlooted hexagonal burial alcoves! Score! (50 exp)
- Suspecting magic, Dr Maybe spell-swaps to Detect Magic in order to scan the room. He fucks up the swap intentionally... and That Which Should Not Be occurs. (50 exp)
- To quote, "
Everything goes dark, you lose sight of the walls, your companions are around you with shining white eyes, they rend and tear at your flesh, stuffing their mouths, not even chewing in their haste to fill their bellies, your attempts to fight back pass through them like a shadow.
Your companions find themselves sitting in a circle around the place where you last stood with distended bellies and blood soaked hands and mouths. The only remaining trace of the caster is a wax-sealed skull sitting in their midst." (50 exp)
- Holy shit. We ceremoniously tear his character sheet apart with our mouths. (50 exp)
- On the plus side, the toad statue vomits forth a bunch of treasure. Hooray! (50 exp)
- Time is spent searching the burial alcoves and the riches are taken. Double hooray! (50 exp)
- They head back in the direction of the entrance and check out one of the first doors. Nix heads in... and is trapped by a falling stone wall! (50 exp)
- The pile of bones in the corner harryhausen's into a skeleton, while three more burst out of the other door. Nix is trapped! (50 exp)
- It's a classic "I'm not locked in here with you, you're locked in here with me!" situation. She smashes a skeleton with bare fists, before a crit from a second sends her into her very first Barbarian Rage! (50 exp)
- It's a massacre. On the other side of the wall, the party manages to bash a small hole. Mugg chucks a torch in to help the Barbarian see, but at the sight of the carnage the party pragmatically decide to chill on the non-Barbarian side of the wall. (50 exp)
- It sounds like someone's destroying a xylophone in there, but eventually the noises and growling stop. The party knock down the remaining wall to find Nix surrounded by bone dust. (50 exp)
- Loot in hand, and Barbarian saved, the group head up and out of the Barrowmaze. A successful foray! (50 exp)
Total: 2500 exp

- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)
- Balls to the Wall 
bonus (50 exp)
- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- Classic Charles bonus (50 exp)
- Diplomancy bonus (50 exp)
- Fame bonus (50 exp)
- I Immediately Regret This Decision bonus (50 exp)
- Internecine Strife bonus (50 exp)
- Leave a Man Behind bonus (50 exp)
- Ludicrous Gore bonus (50 exp)
- Noblebright bonus (50 exp)
- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- Spoopy bonus (50 exp)
- Tomb Raider bonus (50 exp)
- Vore bonus (50 exp)
- What Could Possibly Go Wrong bonus (50 exp)
- What the Fuck Guys bonus (50 exp)
- Why Did You Touch That bonus (50 exp)
Total: 1950 exp

Party Roles and Individual Exp:
- Remembrancer 
(Kitty / POWERLAD - 100 exp)
- Caller (James / Chiffon - 100 exp)
- Mapper (Fraser / Nix - 100 exp)
- Treasurer (Charles / Zena - 100 exp)- Quartermaster (Henry / Dr Maybe - 100 exp)
- Guard (Tom / Ignatius - 100 exp)
- Tracker (Henry / Dr Maybe - 100 exp)- Art Attack bonus (Ollie, Charles - 100 exp)
- An Hero bonus (Tom - 200 exp)
- Amusing Death bonus (Henry - 500 exp)
- Lonely Death bonus (Tom - 500 exp)
- Teamkilled bonus (Henry - 500 exp)
- Death's Witness bonus (All but Ignatius - 100 exp)
- Death's Witness??? bonus (All who ate Dr Maybe - 100 exp)

Active Businesses:
- Bone Alone. Wild. 300sp. (Zena's Stake: 200sp, Carrie's Stake: 100sp)

Death Toll and Injuries:
- Jack Hacker, stuck her whole arm into the mouth of a man who was a boneless sack of skin. Lost all her skin.- Ignatius Darke, ran screaming into the dead-haunted halls of the Barrowmaze never to be seen again.
- Dr Maybe, devoured by his colleagues after a spell went horribly awry.
Exp Totals:
- Fraser / Nix Neckbiter, Level 6 Barbarian: 34236 (Level up at 64000)
- Kitty / POWERLAD!, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 32171 (Level up at 36000)
- Charles / Zena, Level 5 Fighter: 27006 (Level up at 32000)
- Tom / Jack Hacker, Level 5 Specialist: 14907 (Level up at 24000)
- Tom / Ignatius Darke, Level 3 Necromancer: 4552 (Level up at 9000)*DECEASED*
- Henry / Dr Maybe, Level 2 Magic-User: 2303 (Level up at 4500)
- James / Chiffon, Level 1 Elf (Canny Childe): 1184 (Level up at 3000)
- Eleanor / Mugg, Level 1 Fighter: 1084 (Level up at 2000)
- Kyle / Gimlass the Brave, Level 1 Dwarf: 884 (Level up at 2200)
- Tom / Tom's Next Character: +1684 exp
- Henry / Henry's Next Character: +2084 exp

Absent or Retired:- Ollie / Tremendo Picante, Level 2 Ratman: 2654 (Level up at 3000)
- Andy / Carrie Meleste, 
Level 5 Cleric: 14651 (Level up at 28000)
- James / Raaf van Held, Level 4 Fighter: 14838 (Level up at 16000)

- Henry / Henry's Next Character: +2303 exp

- Eglė / Bob, Level 1 Dwarf: 434 (Level up at 2200)

- Ollie / Andromeda Spiderbite, 
Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 19872 (Level up at 36000)
Will / Cecil Fulbright, Level 5 Cleric (Termaxian): 15063 (Level up at 28000)
- Tom / Insanity Mammoth, Level 3 Barbarian: 5192 (Level up at 8000)
- James / William Fox-Shitt, Level 3 Cleric (Zeanist): 4571 (Level up at 7000)

Wednesday, 9 August 2017

Session 147 - Lakes and Loose Ends

A terrorist is denied, Castigate Pox is rescued, and a lone Necromancer goes off on a solo adventure.
Somehow the game has formed a sort of natural denouement to the Moondin plot arc. With things more or less tied up and Castigate rescued, what does the future hold for our arguably brave adventurers?!

Onto the MAD COOL art we have this week:

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Tom finishes off his kickass TPK painting!

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Charles shows Zena's reaction to Castigate's return, Rake's bloated corpse still within

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- Ollie earns the first ever Cosplay Bonus!
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- I doodle Baba Jon's final form

“They all said I wouldn’ get to Varna. But dammit, I’ll show them!” The man flailed his arm dramatically. He was slurring badly. The girl watched intently, patiently. She knew it would not be long. “Who’s they, might I ask?” “The demon hunter… her political friends. Hacker’s cabinet.” The girl’s eyes snapped from the man’s numerous valuables to his face. “You knew Rake Hacker?” “Didn’ know the guy. But his cabinet I did… lousy turds. His cousin was tryin’ to gather up the ropes after Rake died. Never stood a chance…” “How did he die? Rake Hacker?” “Wow, you really have been abroad a long time, huh. Drowned in a lake. Shame, because he’d pledged his sword to the Fated Queen… he was goin’ up in the world.” Now the girl hung on the man’s every word. He would keep his possessions for just a little longer. The man leaned in, his breath stinking of Old Wallop. “But here’s why I left. See, there’s not actually ever been such thing as a Steward in Loegria. The term’s a Dutch import.” She was familiar with the title’s history – she’d been serving the Stadtholder in Amsterdam until only weeks before. “Makes sense to create the title during a crisis, but once Rake died, shit started stirrin’ fast. I jumped ship as soon as other parties started vyin’ for control. There’ll be knives a-flyin’, I tell you.” “I … don’t follow?” “Trust me, I’m a nobleman. I know my titles. See, the Stewards in Holland are hereditary. When the Stadtholder dies, the guy’s child takes over. And Rake Hacker had a daughter…” The girl’s eyes opened wide. The drunken man tossed his head back and laughed. “So there’s some poor kid somewhere who’s just become the rightful Steward of Moondin!”
- Tom writes some rad backstory fiction to cross over his new character

Session 147 - Lakes and Loose Ends

Campaign Date:
Friday, 5 August, 1660
Moon Phase: Third Quarter
Zodiac: Cancer

New Backstory:
- Ignatius was told to break the law.... and did! Following the instructions of a black grimoire, he killed his own father in bloody ritual. (+1 to hit guards, soldiers, and other forces of law and order)

Enemies Defeated:- Numerous kelpies (250 exp)
Total: 250 exp

Treasure and Equipment:
- Castigate Pox returned!
- 1cp with Gifflewim's face on it (1 exp)
Total: 1 exp

Exploration:- First person/party to visit Hoop (100 exp)- First person/party to visit Fiskit (500 exp)
- First person/party to visit Rote (500 exp)
- Many miles of travel (900 exp)
Total: 2000 exp

- Ignatius Dark reads his book on vampires, and finds out there's a whole country of vampires called Voivodja which is pretty much where Transylvania is. (50 exp)
- Oh also the way to become a vampire is to be drained by one. If you want to be a free-willed vampire, the vampire who turned you must die. (50 exp)
- Ignatius decides to go off on his own, travel to the nearest port, and sail off on a solo adventure. (50 exp)
--- Ignatius
- Heading off on Pippi's Saudi's Mighty Lady, he leaves Moondin and heads east towards Fate. On the way, he greets a rider coming the other way who warns him about a warband holding the bridge ahead. (50 exp)
- Ignatius takes a detour, heading south to the coast so he'll eventually end up at port city Rote. (50 exp)
- The weather takes a turn as he goes, eventually pissing it down as night falls. Luckily he comes across a tavern, the Lemon & Lime, and goes in. (50 exp)
- Most notably there is an old guy in a wheelchair. A Knight of Science! Possibly the Knight of Science. It's unclear. Ignatius gets him a beer and learns a bit about the local area. (50 exp)
- The next morning, he continues on. Just before the seaside town of Fiskit he meets an army patrol group and has a chat. (50 exp)
- In the town he meets a man names Salty Jewels who is willing to sell him some "sea salties", jellyfish-esque blobs that allow one to breathe underwater! (50 exp)
- Salty Jewels gets a couple out of his personal watertight saltie-pouch and gives them to Ignatius, who has nowhere to put them. They soon dry out and pop, to Ignatius' consternation. (50 exp)
- He goes to the local church and prays to The Lady. It's obvious that the church was once devoted to a local sea deity, later retrofitted to the Nine when worshipping Low Gods was outlawed. (50 exp)
- He eventually leaves, riding along the coastal road until he reaches the port town of Rote, hoping to find a ship that will take him overseas. A mysterious woman watches from the shadows... (50 exp)
--- The Party
- Everyone else is in a tavern and see Ignatius run out the door. As he leaves, a strange old man enters the pub and approaches the party. (50 exp)
- He bears a message from Andromeda. Meet her in the forest in the place of her choosing, she has a proposition for them. (50 exp)
- After some debate, the offer is accepted. They'll go fresh and heavily armed though, since it's obviously a trap. (50 exp)
- Carrie Meleste reveals her horrific new business idea - undead sex toys made from aborted fetuses. Surprisingly, Zena says she's interested in backing the business. (50 exp)
- When the group arrives in the forest clearing, Andromeda is there with her hands open and empty. Beside her, Vanilla Honeybuns, one of her most trusted soldier-prostitutes. (50 exp)
- Andromeda proposes that she fund a trip to find El Dorado. What's in it for her? A 10% cut of treasures earned. (50 exp)
- The party deliberate for about 5 seconds before declining her kind offer. They leave on cordial terms and no blood is shed. (50 exp)
- POWERLAD wants to go dredge the nixie lake for Castigate. But first... to gain control of the Cult of the Ghost Dragon. (50 exp)
- He enters the dingy HQ of the cult and soon meets their leader, Dragonpriest Quimly. She agrees that there was a conspiracy - Rake didn't kill the Ghost Dragon. It was summoned to protect the city from Andromeda Spiderbite, the true enemy of the Ghost Dragon. (50 exp)
- The cult leader runs to his his red string conspiracy wall... moves a few pins and... the strings form the face of POWERLAD! The true saviour! The Ghost Dragon himself! (50 exp)
- Tremendo briefly shows up to ask some questions and freaks out Quimly who calls for someone to exterminate the rat! Tremendo eventually leaves, upset at his treatment. He briefly considers revenge but is stopped by POWERLAD's return. (50 exp)
- Zena heads to Necromancer HQ to meet up with Nexus Praxus, the big winner in all the political upheaval. He offers her a job, which she refuses. (50 exp)
- What he does do is agree to help with the Castigate Pox retrieval process, sending two of his most trusted Necromancers and 10 skeletons apiece to help dredge the lake. Hurrah! (50 exp)
- While waiting for this all to shake out, Zena meets up with Carrie. Together they invest 300sp in the admittedly Wild undead sex toy business. The name... Bone Alone. (50 exp)
- The party head out with their undead contingent. Virax and Mordus are their names, and they're the classic tall-guy-short-guy villainous henchmen team. (50 exp)
- The trees are alive with wooden-masked Elves. They fire some leaf-arrow warning shots at the party's feet, but the offer of weed mollifies them and they let the party pass. (50 exp)
- Reaching the lake, weed is passed around to the Necromancers to make them immune to nixie-charm. They send their skeletons into the water to look for Castigate. (50 exp)
- Tremendo grabs a fishing rod and heads around the lake a ways. He is approached by a beautiful white horse that he totally ignores until it goes away. (50 exp)
- Soon a sexy ratmaness emerges from the misty water. Tremendo chucks a rat at her and she leaves. (50 exp)
- How exactly to deal with the nixies is discussed at length. Eventually Nix comes up with her perfect team solution - a massive combo Beam glyph dubbed Dante's Inferno. (50 exp)
- They fire it up and it's a real beast! The electricity, heat, fire, and everything else pours into the lake! The skeletons are toast, naturally, and a phew wet explosive pops mark where nixies in the wrong place and time got exploded. (50 exp)
- Options are discussed at length. Diving bell? More runes? I roll to see what Castigate's fate actually was and... oh it turns out he's walking now. (50 exp)
- Castigate Pox stumbles out of the water, dragging his axe behind him, clearly the worse for wear. Someone opens his helmet only to be confronted with Rake's bloated and waterlogged face staring at them! (50 exp)
- Yes, Castigate animated Rake as a zombie and used him to animate the armour. He saw the light show on the surface and assumed it was a rescue party! (50 exp)
- Tremendo, still on the other side of the lake, decides to dive in... but when he sees the shadow of a fish he bugs out and returns to the party. (50 exp)
- Castigate tells the party he'll "walk it off" and follows them back to Moondin while they update him on the political situation. (50 exp)
- Back at Moondin, we end with Rake's closed casket funeral. Tears are shed, his coffin effigy is carved pantsless, and wizards fly Red Arrows-style overhead. Goodbye Rake, you will be remembered. (50 exp)
Total: 1950 exp

- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)
- Aggressive Negotiations 
bonus (50 exp)
- Best of Intentions bonus (50 exp)
- Bookworm bonus (50 exp)
- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- Diplomancy bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Rescue bonus (50 exp)- Internecine Strife bonus (50 exp)
- Leave a Man Behind bonus (50 exp)
- Long Deliberation bonus (50 exp)
- Noblebright bonus (50 exp)
- Mad Inventor bonus (50 exp)
- Michael Bay bonus (50 exp)
- Politico bonus (50 exp)
- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- Spoopy bonus (50 exp)
- What Could Possibly Go Wrong bonus (50 exp)
Total: 900 exp

Party Roles and Individual Exp:
- Remembrancer 
(Tom / Ignatius - 100 exp)
- Caller (Kitty / POWERLAD - 100 exp)
- Mapper (Fraser / Nix - 100 exp)
- Treasurer (Charles / Zena - 100 exp)
- Guard (Ollie / Tremendo - 100 exp)

- Art Attack bonus (Tom, Charles - 100 exp ea.)
- Attacco d'Arte bonus (Tom, Charles - 100 exp ea.)
- Cosplay bonus (Ollie - 100 exp)
- Fiction Fanatic bonus (Tom - 100 exp)
- Snackbringer bonus (Fraser, Tom, Charles - 100 exp)
--- Rake's Funeral
- POWERLAD: 2000 exp
- Nix: 600 exp
- Tremendo: 600 exp
- Zena: 600 exp
- Andromeda: 2500 exp

Active Businesses:
- Bone Alone. Wild. 300sp. (Zena's Stake: 200sp, Carrie's Stake: 100sp)

Death Toll and Injuries:
- None!
Exp Totals:
- Fraser / Nix Neckbiter, Level 6 Barbarian: 33052 (Level up at 64000)*DING!* +1d8 HP! +2 rolls on Barbarian Levelup Table! 6 rounds Rage!- Kitty / POWERLAD!, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 30987 (Level up at 36000)
- Charles / Zena, Level 5 Fighter: 26722 (Level up at 32000)
- Andy / Carrie Meleste, Level 5 Cleric: 14651 (Level up at 28000)*DING!* +1d6 HP! +Saves! +1 level 3 spell/day! +1 level 2 spell/day!- Tom / Ignatius Darke, Level 3 Necromancer: 4552 (Level up at 9000)
*DING!* +1d4 HP! +1 level 2 spell/day! +free spell!
- Ollie / Tremendo Picante, Level 2 Ratman: 2654 (Level up at 3000)
*DING!* +1d6 HP! Max Rats: 4!
Absent or Retired:- James / Raaf van Held, Level 4 Fighter: 14838 (Level up at 16000)
- Henry / Henry's Next Character: +2303 exp

- Tom / Rake's Daughter: +14907 exp
- Eglė / Bob, Level 1 Dwarf: 434 (Level up at 2200)

- Ollie / Andromeda Spiderbite, 
Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 19872 (Level up at 36000)*DING!* +1d4 HP! +Saves +1 level 3 spell/day! +1 level 1 spell/day! +free spell!
Will / Cecil Fulbright, Level 5 Cleric (Termaxian): 15063 (Level up at 28000)
- Tom / Insanity Mammoth, Level 3 Barbarian: 5192 (Level up at 8000)
- James / William Fox-Shitt, Level 3 Cleric (Zeanist): 4571 (Level up at 7000)

Tuesday, 1 August 2017

Session 146 - Baba Jon, Arise!

Is this the first time that somebody's actually solved a long-running campaign issue? Probably yes!
With Henry leaving forever Blue Jon manages to digivolve into a NEW Baba Yaga, dubbed Baba Jon, possibly with a side line in pizza delivery.
The rituals that once kept the tentacle down are back! And all for the price of one measly virgin per year. What a savings!

The Heart of Thorns is now partially explored. What else is in there? Lots of mould, at the very least!
Gifflewim the magic item seller guy makes a re-appearance! Yet another cameo from times long past, it's funny how old characters popping up feel like references for the fans of the original series.

And finally, Moondin's political landscape gets yet another shakeup. The Politics subsystem was a great success (from my side of the table) but some unfortunate vote-splitting by characters on very similar platforms left them without enough clout to swing the vote their way.
Moondin is controlled by an alliance between the pragmatic Red Light and the pro-Necromancy Duvan'Ku, leaving the unfortunate Pro-military faction well and truly beaten. The Red Dead Alliance rules Moondin now, and the status quo is restored.

Rather than transcribe all the politicking, I've just attached the transcript to this email. Easy!

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Tom grants us a final (?) look at the Moondin Trumpet

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Tom also shows us Insanity Mammoth, the surprising political powerhouse

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James augments with classic political colouring

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- And again

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- Charles supplies Remembrancer art

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Session 146 - Baba Jon, Arise!

Campaign Date:
Monday, 1 August, 1660
Moon Phase: Waning Gibbous
Zodiac: Cancer

New Characters:
- Tremendo Picante, handsome Ratman son of a Privrateer and a Portuguese ratmaness.
- Ignatius Dark, nightwatchman from a line of impoverished nobility, read super double extra forbidden tomes and became a Necromancer.

Enemies Defeated:- A Filled Man (250 exp)
- Three mould junkies (30 exp)
Total: 280 exp

Treasure and Equipment:
- Baba Yaga's Broom
- Another leaf-arrow
Total: 0 exp

Exploration:- Explored 4 dungeon areas (80 exp)- Travelled 24 miles or so (80 exp)
Total: 740 exp

- It is Henry's last session, so in exchange for a tray of shots Blue Jon supercharges his Locate Object spell in order to discover the location of Baba Yaga's Broom! (50 exp)
- It's inside the Heart of Thorns, but not too far in. The group head into the foyer, most with POWERLAD-created breather helmets and Take-Earth-Light runes turned on. (50 exp)
- Redeye cigarettes are passed around, and infravision turns on. Everything is damp blues and greys. The foyer drips, and the spongey floor makes movement slow. (50 exp)
- New arrival Tremendo summons a rat, and the most dashing hat-wearing cane-toting rat springs from the ceiling! At least, that's what he sees. Everyone else sees the most horrible manky mouldy rat ooze out of a crack. (50 exp)
- He gets it to explore the next room, and the rat is stoked to report that it's a lovely room with a purple pile in it! (50 exp)
- The purple mould lump doesn't block the way, but it would need to be crawled over. "Fuck that" say all. Blue Jon casts Reduce on the lump, shrinking it. Zena preps a rune. (50 exp)
- It's a fire beam! She gets a direct hit, causing the lump to burst out with a massive spray of purple mould!! Everyone's fine since they've got anti-mould runes on... except for Zena herself. (50 exp)
- It's an ANGERY MOULD. Turns out POWERLAD's breather helmet was ineffective! Zena goes berzerk, turning to fire beam her friends! (50 exp)
- POWERLAD steps in with a patent Sleep Slap, and Zena's down for the count. Raaf eyes her, suspicious for signs of the capital-M Mould, but she seems fine. POWERLAD and Raaf drag her out and leave her on the grass. (50 exp)
- The purple lump has blown its spore-wad, so it's safe! The Zena-less party traverses past it, heading north. As they do so, an exit from the room collapses in. Luckily a non-critical exit. (50 exp)
- Continuing on, they run into some mould people! Three junkies and a hulking Filled Man! (50 exp)
- POWERLAD flanks while Raaf charges in. Ignatius swaps in Ectenic Blast and throws the Filled Man backwards, sending him bowling through the junkies. While they're down, POWERLAD goes to town with hammers. (50 exp)
- Raaf is smashed by the Filled Man, his rune turns off, he holds his breath... but miraculously his breather helmet actually works! (50 exp)
- Blue Jon blasts the Filled Man with magic missile kestrels! It blasts many chunks of mould off its body... but it stays standing! (50 exp)
- Raaf strikes in at the nearly-dead Filled Man, and in a single cleaving strike finishes off the mould junkies at the same time! What a hit! Working quickly, he re-activates the mould rune. Phew. (50 exp)
- Zena, outside, stirs. The first thing she sees is one of those leaf-tipped arrows, and something jumping and rustling through the trees overhead. She decides to just chill outside. (50 exp)
- The next room has... the Broom! Unfortunately there are a bunch of placid-looking Junkies and Filled Men in here, all standing near a big swollen lump. On top of the lump, the Broom. (50 exp)
- Boss battles are for fools! Tremendo simply crawls along the ceiling and lowers his rat friend down by his tail. He grabs the Broom and stealthily crawls back across. Easy! (50 exp)
- Bullshit saves the day! The party quickly quietly carefully get back out, finding a relaxed Zena sitting outside. Broom get! (50 exp)
- Tremendo tests it out, fly Broom! Fly! But it doesn't work. Turns out that it leaves a trail of slippery surface behind it though. Basically the broom creates a surface, the mortar hovers over the surface, and the pestle steers. All together, flight! (50 exp)
- They head back to Moondin, surprisingly successful! (50 exp)
- Ignatius grabs a book on vampires from the library and has a read. Yes, they exist and yes, this book will tell you how to become one. (50 exp)
- They head on over to the Alabaster Oracle's home. The Guard have guarded well, and rotting calimari rings mark where the tentacles have been slain. (50 exp)
- She emerges from her cave and announces that Blue Jon's fate has changed once more! He will live forever! (50 exp)
- The mortar and pestle are grabbed and Blue Jon drives around in it like a bumper car. The group, including the Oracle, follow the floating Blue Jon north towards the great frog statue. (50 exp)
- On the way, they meet a strange man... it's Gifflewim! Who, of course, nobody here has ever met before. Yes, the oft-robbed travelling magic merchant is here, and will trade interesting things for other interesting things. (50 exp)
- Zena trades the broken breather helmet for a pair of spectacles. One lens lets you see things as they truly are, the other lets you see things as you wish them to be. (50 exp)
- Trade accomplished, he wanders on. He informs the party that he can be summoned by whispering his name beneath the full moon. The players already know this, of course. (50 exp)
- Finally they reach the frog. Husband and wife reunited! Near the frog is the corpse of that one Extra who stayed to listen to its stories. It was just that boring. (50 exp)
- With all the items gathered together, the ritual can begin! There is one catch - someone must sacrifice themselves to become Baba Yaga's body and ego. (50 exp)
- Blue Jon accepts! He shall become the NEW Baba Yaga! Blue Jon takes the blue Control ending! (50 exp)
- A great ritual is enacted. The Alabaster Oracle, the remnants of Baba Yaga's magical soul, combines with the Frog, the remnants of Baba Yaga's ancient mind. Together they merge with Blue Jon, who arises cackling upon the Pestle and Mortar! (50 exp)
- There is mild "oh maybe this wasn't a good idea" as the frog statue melts into a large stone egg, but Baba Jon picks it up and flies off towards the great Tentacle. (50 exp)
- There is a distant scream as someone in the forest is grabbed to be the first sacrifice. Magical bolts blast the tentacle, the great stone egg is hung from the chains, and the sacrifice is sacrificed. (50 exp)
- It's meant to be all dramatic and witchy but I sort of fucked up the delivery oh welllll. Long story short, there's a witch now and the tentacle situation's pretty much sorted for the foreseeable future (50 exp)
- With an hour or so of session STILL TO GO, the party head to Moondin and hit up the political scene. With Rake and Castigate gone, a new Steward is needed. (50 exp)
- There are 5 main factions supported by a variety of interest groups who lobby for them. Political subsystem go! Military, Duvan'Ku, Red Light, Ghost Dragon and Mould vie for popularity. (50 exp)
- Raaf throws his hat in the ring, as does the left-field entrant of Insanity Mammoth and the even lefter field entrant of Tremendo with his political platform of free marmalade for all. (50 exp)
- The goal: Win the support of as many interest groups as you can. The person with the most political support will become the next Steward! (50 exp)
- It's media interview time and everyone gets grilled. The most powerful political figure in the room - Singular Thay. Androgynous ambassador for the Crowns and representative of the Dead Peace. (50 exp)
- Insanity Mammoth takes a hardline stance against magic and Necromancy. Raaf takes a more practical military-focused stance. Tremendo doesn't know what's going on and doubles down on free marmalade for all. (50 exp)
- Taking a look at the lay of the political land in Moondin, various factions are perused. Raaf and Insanity Mammoth both court the military-supporting interest groups, unbenownst to them splitting the vote and massively undermining the military faction's support base. (50 exp)
- Tremendo tries his best but only the very desperate would support a ratman candidate. (50 exp)
- At last, it's time to count the results! Insanity Mammoth's hardline anti-magic stance, generally unopposed, has managed to garner a whole 16% of the political support base! (50 exp)
- Raaf managed only 8%, and Tremendo 4%. The Military faction's support was crippled, leaving the Red Light and Duvan'Ku factions with the majority of the support. They join forces, forming the Red Dead Alliance. Moondin is under new management... and it's not anybody in the party (50 exp)
- Dispirited by his political loss, Raaf decides to retire from adventuring and go full-time as the leader of the town guard. Insanity Mammoth runs screaming into the forest. Tremendo, however, seems to take it in stride! (50 exp)
- Next session, a new chapter? (50 exp)
Total: 2350 exp

- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)
- Balls to the Wall 
bonus (50 exp)
- Best of Intentions bonus (50 exp)
- Bookworm bonus (50 exp)
- Breach and Clear bonus (50 exp)
- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- Classic Charles bonus (50 exp)
- Diplomancy bonus (50 exp)
- Fame bonus (50 exp)
- I Immediately Regret This Decision bonus (50 exp)
- Leave a Man Behind bonus (50 exp)
- Noblebright bonus (50 exp)
- Operator as Fuck bonus (50 exp)
- Politico bonus (50 exp)
- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- Spoopy bonus (50 exp)
Total: 850 exp

Party Roles and Individual Exp:
- Remembrancer 
(Charles / Zena - 100 exp)
- Caller (Henry / Baba Jon- 100 exp)
- Mapper (Fraser / Nix - 100 exp)
- Treasurer (Kitty / POWERLAD - 100 exp)
- Quartermaster 
(Ollie / Tremendo - 100 exp)
- Guard (Tom / Ignatius - 100 exp)

- Tracker 
(Henry / Baba Jon - 100 exp)
- Art Attack bonus (Tom, Charles, James - 100 exp)
- Artapalooza bonus (Charles - 100 exp)
- Snackbringer bonus (Fraser, Tom - 100 exp)
- Good End bonus (Henry - +500 exp to next character)
- Noble Sacrifice bonus (Henry - +1000 exp to next character)

Death Toll and Injuries:
- Blue Jon, willingly sacrificed his body and soul to resurrect Baba Yaga
Exp Totals:
- Fraser / Nix Neckbiter, Level 5 Barbarian: 31401 (Level up at 32000)
- Henry / 
Blue Jon Goujon, Level 5 Magic-User*REBORN*- Kitty / POWERLAD!, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 28036 (Level up at 36000)
- Charles / Zena, Level 5 Fighter: 24871 (Level up at 32000)
- James / Raaf van Held, Level 4 Fighter: 14838 (Level up at 16000)
- Tom / Ignatius Dark, Level 2 Necromancer: 3201 (Level up at 4500)
*DING!* +1d4 HP! +1 level 1 spell/day! +free spell!
- Ollie / Tremendo Picante, Level 1 Ratman: 1003 (Level up at 1500)
- Henry / Henry's Next Character: +2303 exp
Absent or Retired:- Andy / Carrie Meleste, Level 4 Cleric: 13800 (Level up at 14000)
- Tom / Rake's Daughter: +14907 exp
- Eglė / Bob, Level 1 Dwarf: 434 (Level up at 2200)

- Ollie / Andromeda Spiderbite, 
Level 4 Muscle Wizard: 17372 (Level up at 18000)
Will / Cecil Fulbright, Level 5 Cleric (Termaxian): 15063 (Level up at 28000)
- Tom / Insanity Mammoth, Level 3 Barbarian: 5192 (Level up at 8000)
- James / William Fox-Shitt, Level 3 Cleric (Zeanist): 4571 (Level up at 7000)