Saturday 1 April 2017

Session 130 - Imagine Dragons

A lot happened this week! Mostly the discovery that POWERLAD!'s new summon-an-imaginary-creature power allows him to summon a MASSIVE IMAGINARY DRAGON.

Also - some innocent people are saved (?) and an evil worm god thing is killed (!) are the party actually GOOD GUYS NOW!?


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- Charles shows an insight into ZARAT's very mind!

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- Charles illustrates the session while remembrancing! What a champ.

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- I fanart my own game



Session 130 - Imagine Dragons

Campaign Date:
Last Day, 30 March, 1660
Moon Phase: Full
Zodiac: Pisces

New Backstory:
- Blue John Goujon was addicted to drugs, but his stash ran out when he was on an unexpectedly extended mountain patrol. He was forced to go cold turkey. (Doubled effects from drugs)
- Nix Neckbiter was raised by barbarians after the deaths of her family, spending her inheritance generously on her new family (+1 Charisma)
- POWERLAD! grew up listening to the heroic exploits of his parents... and it scared the shit out of him. (+1 AC in pitch black)
- Cecil Fulbright has remarkably lovely breasts for a man, a source of great pride. His "style" turned heads in the town where he grew up. (+2 to Reaction rolls when wearing clean, stylish clothes)
- Captain Book has an unrequited fascination with Cecil's fulsome man-bosom. Lust, love, what's the difference? He just wants to give him a good bookin'. The spirit of Cranky Jim looks down and smiles. (When Cecil is damaged, Captain Book can jump in the way and take double damage instead)

Enemies Defeated:- A bearskin full of worms (100 exp)
- An old man (50 exp)
- His "dog" (25 exp)
- His "cat" (25 exp)
- A gribbly tentacle-faced worm (100 exp)
Total: 300 exp

Treasure and Equipment:
- 221gp, 1153sp, 2450cp (12448 exp)
- A bear pelt in two halves
- A low quality two-handed axe
- Iron ring with keys
- Flask of terrible moonshine
- Brass torc with dragon faces covered in gold leaf (100 exp)
- 2 large agates (60 exp)
Total: 12608 exp

Exploration:
- Travelled 6 or so miles (20 exp)
- 1 Random Encounter (50 exp)
- First party to enter the Worm-Oak (100 exp)
Total: 170 exp

Events:
- The quest to find the green dragon continues, with the team's Halfling guide leading the way along a raised grassy elf-road marked by cairns. (50 exp)
- And on that grassy road... a bear skin? POWERLAD! investigates, figuring a bearskin robe sounds neato. (50 exp)
- As he gets close, a fanged worm bursts from an eyehole and bites at his chest! Oh no! More worms swarm from the bear as the first tastes blood! (50 exp)
- POWERLAD! punch-casts his new spell, Phantasmal Force! It allows the caster to summon an illusory version of any creature they've previously seen... "Hey so we saw that massive dragon last session right?" (50 exp)
- As an imaginary mile-long dragon crashes down behind POWERLAD!, the others rush in! In the fighting, Cecil accidentally calls POWERLAD! by his given name - Pablo. (50 exp)
- The worms pass their roll to disbelieve the dragon illusion as its jaws come crashing down, despite slithering away rapidly. Guess they? Cecil chases with his staff, dealing massive damage and tearing the bearskin to shreds! The inner worms are exposed! (50 exp)
- ZARAT and Nix finish it off, with a one-two combo. The wormbeast is dead. ZARAT flicks the last few worms wiggling out of the skull away. POWERLAD! and ZARAT fight over the now-tattered bearskin. (50 exp)
- They each get half, ZARAT in particular getting the bit with the skull. POWERLAD! donates the other half to the Halfling Guide to persuade him to keep guiding the group through the woods. (50 exp)
- The group head on, reaching a 3-way fork in the elf road marked by a large cairn. There are elves watching from the trees, and the Halfling says not to look at them or they shoot you. Everyone keeps their eyes down. (50 exp)
- Follow the elf road and you'll reach a mouldman village, which noooobody wants to do. North through the forest it is! (50 exp)
- Trudging through the moist and boggy forest, the party reach a wide marshy area with big dark oak tree in the centre of it. An old man is nearby, looking haggard and unwashed. (50 exp)
- He whistles for his dog, a big ol' wolf, and while it seems barely under his control it let's POWERLAD! and Blue John pet it without biting them. (50 exp)
- Conversation results in ZARAT trading his worm-ridden bearskin for permission to let the party sleep in the hermit's house in the hollow of the oak. (50 exp)
- Blue John cantrips a closer look at the tree - it's got a sort of humany face and crackedy tree limbs like arms. A tree that grew to look a little like a person. (50 exp)
- He offers the party weird food of the bog like frogs and eel jerky, it is devoured eagerly. Meanwhile, the old man tells the party all about the worm god he feeds, and asks them to bring him any children they may find in their travels. (50 exp)
- Cecil wanders outside while Captain Book regales the old man with lurid tales. He casts Detect Evil - the whole tree is evil! (50 exp)
- Nevertheless, the party sleeps. They are disturbed in the night by the old man sneaking around, clearly trying to tie up the Halfling for probable worm-feeding reasons. Blue John asks him if he's going out hunting, to which he replies "uuuuh yea sure that's what I was doing". (50 exp)
- Blue John and the hermit head out to hunt, wolf in tow. Meanwhile, Nix Neckbiter up in the tree is awoken by a large lynx! It scratches her a whole lot! (50 exp)
- ZARAT scurries outside and up the tree, going against type to run towards a cat. He kicks it straight out of the tree! (50 exp)
- Cecil gets a heal spell ready and the cat-scratched Nix runs in to get his sweet breast-blessing. ZARAT chucks his pocket nails at the ground, hoping to halt the wolf and old man should they attack (50 exp)
- The hermit, who's been denying that he's got anything to do with the lynx this whole time, finally goes "ah well fuck ok, it's my cat" and begins impotently attacking Blue John! (50 exp)
- He's supposed to be a classed Barbarian who goes into a Barbarian rage, but he's as effective as a wet rag so maybe he was just an old hermit after all (50 exp)
- Captain Book attempts several cool combat manouevres against the cat but it's BIG AND SCRATCHY and just scratches the shit out of his face and hands. (50 exp)
- Everyone's fucking up their gambits really. The wolf runs into the nailbed so Nix tries to flick coals from the fire into its eyes, instead blinding herself! (50 exp)
- The cat and the dog are defeated soon after, The dog with a crossbow bolt from POWERLAD! and the cat with Cecil's deft staffwork. Good times! (50 exp)
- The old man is ANGERY REACTS ONLY but still flails impotently. Blue John is also flailing impotently, soon getting hit by an errant crossbow bolt from POWERLAD! Oops. (50 exp)
- While the two tussle fruitlessly in the bog, Cap'n Book starts roasting the cat's body over the fire. "Now that's some hot pussy". Indeed. (50 exp)
- The old man's having a terrible time, accidentally ripping his pants and revealing his wrinkly bits. Henry insists on rolling 2d6 for length. "He's got a RAGING boner!". Arf arf. (50 exp)
- ZARAT tries to get involved and slips on an eel, falling into the bog. The old man's impotent rage sustains him! (50 exp)
- Everyone else seems to have lost interest in the flaccid fight. POWERLAD! drags the wolf over to the fire to begin cooking it alongside Book's dead cat. Cecil goes to wash his clothes in the cleanest bit of water he can find. (50 exp)
- The hermit finally dies when Blue John smacks him over the head. Captain Book insists on cooking his wrinkly crotch-jerky. It is an obsession. (50 exp)
- The old man's leaf pile bed is searched. There's stuff there! An unlocked chest contains money and some keys, plus there's a big gnarly two-handed battleaxe made from a big stick and a rusty blade. (50 exp)
- The party feast upon the various hot meats. Afterwards the trapdoor in the centre of the tree floor, discovered earlier by "accidentally" moving the wooden log seat, is opened and the party descend within. (50 exp)
- Oh man there's a whole little room down here, with a woman and child in cages! The child is like the first person ever who sees ZARAT and thinks he looks cute. ZARAT lets them out with the keys he found. (50 exp)
- There's a hole in the middle of this room and a bell on the other side. Clearly a dinner bell! Blue John rings it... and a big ol' wormy thing with face tentacles pops out of the hole! (50 exp)
- POWERLAD!'s dragon summoning punch is attempted once again, and the whole roof of the dungeon is ripped off, revealing a howling void full of stars! The dragon is there, immense and impossibly powerful! It clamps its jaws around the worm, murdering the worm instantly! (50 exp)
- Or so the worm thinks, falling back down the shaft. Maybe later it will realise that it's not actually dead. (50 exp)
- The party investigate down the hole, finding a half-eaten half-alive guy and a toooon of treasure that's been offered to the worm god over the years. (50 exp)
- After a brief singalong of "throw the worm down the well", some oil and fire is chucked down deeper into the cavern to hopefully cook the worm and the treasure is grabbed and ferried out of the hole. (50 exp)
- The party leave... but the tree itself wants revenge! It starts smacking anybody it can get its limbs on... poorly. One of its branches snaps off, although it does manage to bewitch POWERLAD! with some cheeky mind control. (50 exp)
- "Fuck that!", say all. Captain Book plays the party off, while others just drag POWERLAD! away from his newly beloved tree. Nix tries to burn the tree down but fucks up. It's a shambles. (50 exp)
- ZARAT is the last to leave, getting whomped to 0HP for his trouble. Luckily for him, he manages to scamper away without passing out! Everyone just wades off towards dry land as quickly as possible. Escape! (50 exp)
Total: 2100 exp

Misc:- AAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa bonus (50 exp)
- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)- Aggressive Negotiations bonus (50 exp)- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)- Breach and Clear bonus (50 exp)- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)- Kill It With Fire bonus (50 exp)- Noblebright bonus (50 exp)- PETA bonus (50 exp)- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)- Ridiculously Bad Rolling bonus (50 exp)- This! Is! Sparta! bonus (50 exp)- Trapsetter bonus (50 exp)- WWE bonus (50 exp)- OHKO'd a Badass Enemy (100 exp)Total: 850 exp

Party Roles and Individual Exp:
- Remembrancer (Charles - 100 exp)
- Caller (Andy - 100 exp)
- Mapper (Fraser - 100 exp)
- Treasurer (Will - 100 exp)
- Quartermaster (Kitty - 100 exp)
- Guard (Henry - 100 exp ea.)
- Snackbringer (Charles, Fraser, Henry, Andy - 100 exp ea.)
- Art Attack bonus (Charles - 100 exp)
- Attacco d'Art bonus (Charles - 100 exp)
- Artapalooza bonus (Charles - 100 exp)
Near Death Experience bonus (ZARAT - 100 exp)
Rumours:
- Nothing formal, but I guess there's mould men about?

Death Toll and Injuries:
- None, somehow!

Exp Totals:
- Andy / Captain Book, Level 4 Specialist (Pirate): 7895 (Level up at 12000)*DING!* +1d6 HP! +2 Skill Points!
- Kitty / 
POWERLAD!, Level 3 Muscle Wizard: 7443 (Level up at 9000)
- Henry/ Blue Jon Goujon, Level 3 Magic-User: 7132 (Level up at 9000)
*DING!* +1d4 HP! +1 level 2 spell/day!
- Fraser / Nix Neckbiter, Level 3 Barbarian: 6884 (Level up at 8000)
- Will / Cecil Fulbright, Level 3 Cleric (Termaxian): 6234 (Level up at 7000)
- ZARAT, Level 3 Ratman: 3707 (Level up at 6000)
*DING!* +1d6 HP! Max rats - 4!
*DING!* +1d6 HP! Max rats - 9!

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