Monday, 27 March 2017

Session 129 - Let's do the Timeloop Again

I've spent entirely too long on this gimmicky recap, but we're out of the time loop now and this conveniently coincides with me feeling more comfortable about the state of the game world!
It's been a long time coming, but dragons! For real! They were never found before, but the intervening 50 years has made at least one of them into a real and present force in the world. I'm interested to see what you guys make of them!

Here's some things that count as art attacks:

Inline images 1
- Kitty present an ACTUAL PRODUCT her company publishes which illustrates an actual vampire ratman!

Inline images 2
- Tom paints a very small statue of a man!

Dear diary Well mate it's been a weird one. First off I'm not even sure how I'm writing, cos I'm a friggin barbarian that can't even read, but then, I'm not even sure I'm the same person any more mate! Like, blimey, when I arrived I was gonna burn down that town, commit acts of arson and take people's stuff, but after a couple of loops of dying in that place me accents all funny and now all I want to do is sit on the beach and crack open a lager. I think there was something seriously weird in that town and I'm glad it's behind me mate. Anyway I'm with a few other blokes, can't remember all their names but they're pretty hardcore book nerds, we literally found a dragon and crikey they did was sit outside and read about it! It was a beaut of a dragon though, like a massive black croc from back home (why did I write that?! I come from the northern wastes!) and the others reckon some sort of rituals gonna wake it up or something. Frankly I'd mind me bizzo and get to the nearest barbie but maybe me pals are just as weird in the head as me. Anyway turns out there's dragons everywhere here, these tiny half men mentioned a Dragon temple or cult or something which sounds like a blast but I'm as dry as a dead dingo and hopefully we can get to a bar pretty fuckin soon mate. Insanity Mammoth Dunno what year mate, before neighbours started on TV
- Tom presents Insanity Mammoth's surprisingly antipodean take on events


Session 129 - Let's do the Timeloop Again

Loop ?

Characters:
- POWERLAD!, Muscle Wizard Crossbow-Maker
- Flaming Fury, Dwarven Academic
- Captain Book, Mad Pirate
- William Fox-Shitt, Glue-Sniffing Cleric
- Elf, Elf
- Borrick, Dwarven Dentist

Enemies Defeated:
- Father Iwanopolous (5 exp)
Total: 5 exp

Treasure and Equipment:

- Hilariously, nothing.
Total: 0 exp

Exploration:- Entered the Elven catamaran (50 exp)
Total: 50 exp

Events:

- Returning to where we left off, we've got a split party.
--- Team Better-Than-Human
- Flaming Fury, Elf, and Borrick are talking to an Elf in the middle of a waterlogged stone circle. She invites the to talk. (50 exp)
- They accept, and get into her spider-ridden catamaran to chat. (50 exp)
- She loves spiders, and as they talk a real huge spider sneaks up behind them and bites them one by one! (50 exp)
- It's ok, it's a love poison. They love the spider more than anything. They love it so much. With the Elf in tow, they go to spread its spidery word. (50 exp)
--- Team Human
- Captain Book leaves Billy-Sue Samson's house under the pretense of having been to borrow books from her library, taking a book on the topic of Queen Satan. (50 exp)
- He meets up with the others at the church, and they head in to talk to Father Iwanopolous. Talks go badly, and Captain Book shanks Iwanopolous in the neck! (50 exp)
- Looting the church turns up a box of tithes containing 1000sp along with a few other bits and bobs. (50 exp)
- Knowing that the first to die is pulled back through the loop, Book's got a plan to save the treasure - intentional death! He puts all the valuable in William Fox-Shitt's hands, makes sure he's got everything, then slits his own throat. (50 exp)
- His lips shape the words "oh fuck" as he slumps to the floor, dead. (50 exp)
Total: 450 exp

Misc:- Best of Intentions bonus (50 exp)
- Heresy bonus (50 exp)
- I Immediately Regret This Decision bonus (50 exp)
- Death's Witness bonus (William Fox-Shitt, POWERLAD! - 100 exp ea.)- An Hero bonus (Captain Book - 200 exp)
- Amusing Death bonus (Captain Book - 500 exp)
Total: 250 exp + bonuses
Death Toll and Injuries:
- Captain Book, slit own throat while looking into the eyes of the guy with all the treasure. Time loop reset.

Exp Totals:
- POWERLAD!, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 659 (Level up at 2250)
- William Fox-Shitt, Level 1 Cleric: 659 (Level up at 1750)
- Flaming Fury, Level 1 Dwarf: 311 (Level up at 2200)

- Captain Book, Level 1 Specialist (Pirate): 1011 (Level up at 1500)
- Elf, Level 1 Elf (Bibliognost): 311 (Level up at 3000)
- Borrick, Level 1 Dwarf: 311 (Level up at 2200)

[[]]

Loop ?

Characters:
- Captain (Proctor?) Book, Mad Pirate
- POWERLAD!, Muscle Wizard Crossbow-Maker
- ZARAT, Ratman who fled a sinking ship
- William Fox-Shitt, Glue-Sniffing Cleric
- Blue John, Soldier-Wizard
- Flaming Fury, Dwarven Academic
- Nix Neckbiter, Daughter of Barbarians

Enemies Defeated:
- Magda (50 exp)
Total: 50 exp

Treasure and Equipment:
- Several vials of holy water
- Wooden stakes
- Garlic
- Scratch-built stilts
Total: 0 exp

Exploration:
- Explored 2 Dunnsmouth houses (100 exp)
- Entered the Church (50 exp)
- Encountered Magda (50 exp)
- Discovered the Van Kaus Secret Shame (50 exp)
- Discovered the location of the Time Cube (100 exp)
Total: 350 exp

Events:
A party of adventurers sails into a bank of fog, heading towards some very familiar docks. Captain Book steers them in. (50 exp)- A girl looms from the fog, holding a lantern high. She questions the party about what they're doing here... and seems very taken with POWERLAD. (50 exp)
- Her name is Zilla, and would be even prettier if she just had a few more teeth. She offers her spare skiff in exchange for a kiss. POWERLAD! steps up to the plate, winning the skiff. He takes some of the party (Team Skiff) out towards the church. (50 exp)
- Captain Book questions her about spiders while Flaming Fury and Nix Neckbiter decide to wade past the boathouse and explore overland. Three-way split! (50 exp)
--- Captain Book
- Zilla says she knows something about the spider, but won't tell anyone Book about it unless he's alone and follows him to where the spider lives. He accepts. (50 exp)
- They reach a stone cottage, inside is Magda the gypsy! She seems nice, and begins reading Captain Book's fortune when OH NO the spider attacks him from behind! (50 exp)
- His gambit to destroy it ends up with a critical fail. Oops. The spider slowly sinks its fangs into him... and he realises he loves the spider. He loves it so much, more than anything. (50 exp)
- Now that's out of the way, Magda is very willing to discuss goings-on in the town. Captain Book is licking the spider lovingly, but finds out the Time Cube is somewhere near the church! They head out, Magda in the lead.(50 exp)
--- Team Skiff
- The skiff-riders made up of POWERLAD, Blue John, ZARAT and William Fox-Shitt punt their skiff over to the church and squelch up to it. (50 exp)
- Inside is a much better looking and splendid Father Iwanopolous. He gives a sermon on Jesus' sacrifice and death by scaphism. (50 exp)
- Further discussions lead to some information on the secret shame of the Van Kaus out in the mountains somewhere. Old story, not much truly known. Apparently the townsfolk stopped them at some point. Symbol is two wiggly s-shapes. (50 exp)
- Team Skiff head out, although Blue John takes a minute while the Father is distracted to loot his stuff, grabbing some holy water, stakes, and garlic. (50 exp)
- They punt north, eventually coming across steps with the wiggly symbol on them, they travel up the ste[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]
--- Team Scruff (aka Team Not As Good As Skiff)
- Flaming Fury and Nix Neckbiter speak to Nimrod Duncaster who is fishing from his stilt house, he seems nice but warns that people are a little racist around these parts. (50 exp)
- They are invited in for a frog pasty and meet his wife, Lilith. Fury asks if they've got some sticks he can use as stilts and hopefully pass for a human, and is told there's some dry wood in the attic (50 exp)
- There's a toddler with the face of a spider up there! It spits venom! Fury jumps off the ladder and runs! (50 exp)
- The parents restrain their spider-child while Nix wonders what a frog is. They both flee the house, Fury grabbing some logs for stilts as he does so. (50 exp)
--- Captain Book
- By this time, Captain Book has reached the location of the Time Cube with Magda. They approach and the days begin to spin past rapidly! (50 exp)
- He reads the writing on the cube and the words burn into his vision! He can no longer accurately tell the passage of time, but he can cast the spell Time Stop! (50 exp)
- He casts it on Magda and she freezes, then he stabs her over and over while she's frozen. As time reverts to normal her blood begins spraying all over the place. (50 exp) 
Total: 950 exp

Misc:
- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)
- Aggressive Negotiations 
bonus (50 exp)
- Best of Intentions bonus (50 exp)- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)- Diplomancy bonus (50 exp)- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)- Ridiculously Bad Rolling bonus (50 exp)- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
Total: 400 exp

Death Toll and Injuries:
- Magda, sliced hundreds of times in the gaps between the seconds by someone she trusted, timeloop reset

Exp Totals:
- Blue John, Level 1 Magic-User: 598 (Level up at 2250)
- Captain Book, Level 1 Specialist (Pirate): 1261 (Level up at 1500)
- Flaming Fury, Level 1 Dwarf: 561 (Level up at 2200)
- Nix Neckbiter, Level 1 Barbarian: 250 (Level up at 2000)
- POWERLAD!, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 909 (Level up at 2250)
- William Fox-Shitt, Level 1 Cleric: 909 (Level up at 1750)
- ZARAT, Level 1 Ratman: 435 (Level up at 1500)

[[]]

Loop ?

Characters:
- Nix Neckbiter, Daughter of Barbarians
- Another
- Another

Events:
A smaller party of adventurers sails into a bank of fog, heading towards some very familiar docks. A gypsy woman steers them in. (50 exp)
- She yells "YOU BASTARD! I WAS SO CLOSE!" and looks around frantically (50 exp)
A man looms from the fog, holding a lantern high. He questions the party about what they're doing here... and seems very posh (50 exp)- Nix Neckbiter dives from the skiff, swimming west, he comes upon a mansion and doesn't want to go in. (50 exp)
- Those remaining in Dunnsmouth head north towards the mountains, eventually the[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]

[[]]

Session 129 - You spend ages waiting for a dragon...
Campaign Date:
Friday, 27 March, 1660
Moon Phase: Waxing Gibbous
Zodiac: Pisces

New Characters:
- TOM Insanity Mammoth, a Barbarian Weaponsmith with an unintelligible accent
- ANDY Captain Book, a pirate with a time-displaced personality
- HENRY Blue John Goujon
- KITTY POWERLAD!, the actually entirely legitimate son of Sophia and POWERMAN.
- FRASER Nix Neckbiter, surprisingly female Barbarian
- JAMES William Fox-Shitt, a posh twat of a Cleric and glue afficianado
- WILL Flaming Fury, a Dwarven Academic with a questionable name

Enemies Defeated:- None
Total: 0 exp

Treasure and Equipment:
- 440 gold pieces, each inscribed with a wiggly symbol on one side and a dragon's head on the other (22 000 exp)
- Book #191 - "Ereshkigal, Gamma Burst Dragon" (100 exp)
Total: 22100 exp

Exploration:
- First party to enter the Secret Shame of the Van Kaus (100 exp)
- First party to come into the presence of Ereshkigal, Gamma Burst Dragon (1000 exp)
- 18 miles of travel (60 exp)
- 1 random encounter (20 exp)
Total: 1180 exp

Events:
- [[[]]]]]ps, eventually coming to a doorway halfway up the slope, built into the mountainside. (50 exp)
- It's blocked up, but the top of the arch is coffin-shaped and has a symbol carved into it- two wiggly symbols side by side inside a circle. Fraser clicks! it's the Mass rune. (50 exp)
- Behind them, down the slope, they see the fog clear around Dunnsmouth! A blue light thrums at the centre, the swamp and buildings suddenly change positions, and the fog rushes back in. (50 exp)
- It takes a while to clear the rubble blocking the doorway, and further time crafting a torch from whatever they can find lying around (50 exp)
- They enter, coming into a large underground chamber carved from the rock. There are eight short pillars with names carved on them, and a sound of deep slow breathing. As the breath draws in, everything becomes light and almost weightless. When it breathes out, everything becomes heavy. (50 exp)
- They move in further, and at the back of the chamber they see the scaly head of an enormous black dragon! (50 exp)
- On its face, instead of eyes, it has the Mass rune. Its neck is held into the wall by a ring of shiny black stone, and it's clearly asleep. (50 exp)
- No amount of disturbance seems to wake it. Even whanging it on the nose with a warhammer just makes it snort out a particularly large breath. (50 exp)
- The eight short pillars are graves! Each has a Van Kaus name carved upon it. Digging them up with the help of the gravity inversion, a whole lot of gold is dug up along with a book on this very dragon. (50 exp)
- Several hours are spent reading the book, and eventually the rest of the players bring their characters up the mountain too. (50 exp)
- An exploit for choosing your character is discovered - just go in and keep killing someone until you become the character you want! This is used, and it seems we're out of the time loop and back in action! (50 exp)
- After some time reading the book and discovering (a) that they can bind and awaken the dragon with 1000 years of ritual and (b) become worshippers of the dragon in exchange for it taking a percentage of exp earned, the new group sets off into the woods (50 exp)
- Strange and unfamiliar woods are these, but they run across a group of Halflings who are, strangely enough, fleeing the followers of a dragon! (50 exp)
- It's not the same dragon, they say, because this one is green. But one of their number is willing to show the party the way to this other dragon for the princely sum of two gold pieces. (50 exp)
- And with that, after over 3 years of running this campaign in England, the party has finally discovered the existence of a whole TWO dragons at once! Finally, the second word in DnD joins the game. (50 exp)
Total: 750 exp

Misc:- Bookworm Bonus (50 exp)
- Diplomancy Bonus (50 exp)
- Pundemonium 
Bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party Bonus (50 exp)Total: 200 exp

Party Roles and Individual Exp:
- Remembrancer (Henry - 100 exp)
- Mapper (Fraser, Tom - 100 exp ea.)
- Quartermaster (James - 100 exp)
- Guard (Andy, Kitty - 100 exp ea.)
- Snackbringer (Fraser, Henry, Andy - 100 exp ea.)
- Chronal Exp (Tom, Kitty. Fraser, James, Andy - variable)
- Accidental Art Attack bonus (Kitty - 100 exp)
- Art Attack bonus (Tom - 100 exp)
- Fiction Fanatic bonus (Tom - 100 exp)
Rumours:
- There's another dragon about?!

Death Toll and Injuries:
- Nothing this time around!

Exp Totals:
- Andy / Captain Book, Level 3 Specialist (Pirate): 5023 (Level up at 6000)*DING!* +1d6 HP! +2 skill points! +Backstory!*DING!* +1d6 HP! +2 skill points! +Backstory!
- Kitty / 
POWERLAD!, Level 3 Muscle Wizard: 4671 (Level up at 9000)*DING!* +1d4 HP! +1 level 1 spell! +1 level 1 spell/day! +Backstory!
*DING!* +1d4 HP! +1 Level 2 spell! +1 level 2 spell/day! +Backstory!
- James / William Fox-Shitt, Level 3 Cleric (Zeanist): 4571 (Level up at 7000)*DING!* +1d6 HP! +1 level 1 spell/day! +Backstory!
*DING!* +1d6 HP! +1 level 1 spell/day! +Backstory!

- Tom / Insanity Mammoth, Level 3 Barbarian: 4260 (Level up at 8000)*DING!* +1d8 HP! +2 rolls on the Barbarian Levelup table! +Backstory!*DING!* +1d8 HP! +2 rolls on the Barbarian Levelup table! +Backstory!
- Henry/ Blue Jon Goujon, Level 2 Magic-User: 4260 (Level up at 4500)*DING!* +1d4 HP! +1 level 1 spell! +1 level 1 spell/day! +Backstory!
- Will / Flaming Fury, Level 2 Dwarf: 4023 (Level up at 4400)*DING!* +1d10 HP! +Dwarven Lorebond! +Backstory!
- Fraser / Nix Neckbiter, Level 3 Barbarian: 4012 (Level up at 8000)*DING!* +1d8 HP! +2 rolls on the Barbarian Levelup table! +Backstory!*DING!* +1d8 HP! +2 rolls on the Barbarian Levelup table! +Backstory!

Sunday, 19 March 2017

Session 128 - New Year New Me

We're back! With a time loop gimmick!
In a brazen attempt to delay while I update everything for a 50 year time jump, the ALL NEW party is stuck in the malevolent influence of the TIME CUBE! An artifact of impossible power that controls TIME ITSELF!
They are also stuck in Dunnsmouth. A backwater swamp full of fog and racists.


Inline images 1
- Tom draws new arrival Captain Book



Session 128 - New Year New Me

Loop ?

Characters:
- Insanity Mammoth, Barbarian Weaponsmith
- Banjo Fishwick, Specialist and former Riverbank Comber
- Joe, Barbarian Taxidermist
- Zena, Quill-Cutter Fighter
- Andromeda Buffy Spiderbite, Falconer Muscle Wizard
- William Fox-Shitt, Glue-Sniffing Cleric
- POWERLAD!, Muscle Wizard Crossbow-Maker
- Blue Jon, Soldier-Wizard

Enemies Defeated:
- Herman van Kaus (10 exp)
- Klaudia van Kaus (10 exp)
- Herman van Kaus (10 exp)
Total: 30 exp

Treasure and Equipment:

- 2 rations
- Some garlic
Total: 0 exp

Exploration:- Explored 3 Dunnsmouth houses (150 exp)
Total: 150 exp

Events:

- A party of adventurers sails into a bank of fog, heading towards some very familiar docks. (50 exp)
- The Tillerman shrieks and jumps off the boat, screaming "NOT AGAIN!". Banjo hooks him in with his gaff hook for questioning. (50 exp)
- A man looms from the fog, looking like the guy from American Gothic. He questions the party about what they're doing here... and seems pretty snooty about Insanity Mammoth's foreign-ness. (50 exp)
- He lets the bot tie up for a couple of silvers, but then Insanity Mammoth attacks! The old guy is surprisingly spry, poking the barbarian in the chest with his pitchfork and cutting the boat adrift! (50 exp)
- Insanity Mammoth dives overboard and swims to the pier, finding himself looking up at Herman as he lobs a flaming lantern onto the boat! (50 exp)
- POWERLAD falls unconscious immediately from smoke inhalation, so others have to bundle him off the side as they bail! (50 exp)
- Insanity Mammoth rears from the water and smacks the guy on the head, knocking him out cold. He's tied up as the other party members drag themselves onto the pier. (50 exp)
- While several people search the ramshackle hut, others eat to heal. Handily, he's got a ton of rations stocked up, along with some money in a chest. Score! They break Herman's ankles inside the chest. (50 exp)
- Oh yea, this whole place is swampy horrible bog. It sucks. Waterlogged ropes and sticks and slippery mouldy planks lead further inland, eventually coming to a three storey house with a part-submerged first floor. (50 exp)
- A window with a rope ladder to it is the entrance. Insanity Mammoth climbs to knock on the window but William Fox-Shitt, glue-sniffing and uncharismatic Cleric, pipes up first. An old woman with a HUGE crossbow comes down the stairs, asking WHO'S THERE?! (50 exp)
- After a brief chat, she fires! And her crossbow fucks up. Oops. Insanity Mammoth takes the opportunity to ATTACK! She shanks him with a carved antler dagger, poisoning the poor guy, but he quickly disarms her and shanks her in the neck. (50 exp)
- Meanwhile, in the waterlogged basement, Bluejon the Wizard was searching for an extra entry only to discover LEECHES! His attempts to pull them off hurt, but luckily Banjo's on hand with a torch to burn them off. (50 exp)
- The house is looted. She's not got much, but some bone-tipped crossbow bolts along with a rack of spices and a bunch of garlic isn't all that bad. Insanity Mammoth takes her heart and ears, the latter to feed Andromeda's hawk, and buries her in a shallow grave outside. (50 exp)
- Luckily POWERLAD is a trained crossbow maker! He fixes the enormous crossbow fairly easily. (50 exp)
- Hearing muffled cries of pain from the pier shack, Insanity Mammoth goes to finish him off. The rest continue as he steals that heart too. (50 exp)
- The only house before the swamp gets too deep to easily squelch through belongs to one Bernard von Kaus, pumping for yabbies or lugworm or something with his son. He has a fabulous moustache! (50 exp)
- Andromeda shows him his mother's ears for some reason. He yells at his wife to GET THE GUN! (50 exp)
- He's stabbed through his glorious moustache. It will be missed. (50 exp)
- Bluejon sends his kestrel down the chimney! For some reason! It is cooked quite easily, burning to a crisp. Nobody is entirely sure of the decision-making process that went into this, but Andromeda at least cannot stop laughing. Horrifically, it's a familiar and thus cannot die. It says "kill meeee! Kill meeeee!" in a voice only Bluejon can understand. (50 exp)
- POWERLAD! heads in to wrestle the wife, but ends up pinned with a knife to his throat. Fuck. Someone goes for the child outside. The wife threatens to kill POWERLAD if she doesn't get her son! (50 exp)
- Insanity Mammoth tries to shoot her, misses. She wails as she slices POWERLAD's throat open, his mildly electric blood fizzing out of him. (50 exp)
Total: 1050 exp

Misc:- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)
- Aggressive Negotiations bonus (50 exp)
- Best of Intentions bonus (50 exp)
- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)
- I Immediately Regret This Decision bonus (50 exp)
- Infamy bonus (50 exp)
- Leave a Man Behind bonus (50 exp)
- PETA bonus (50 exp)
- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- War Crime bonus (50 exp)
- What Could Possibly Go Wrong bonus (50 exp)
- What the Fuck Guys bonus (50 exp)
- WWE bonus (50 exp)
- Death's Witness bonus (All who witnessed POWERLAD's death - 100 exp ea.)
Total: 750 exp
Death Toll and Injuries:
- POWERLAD, throat slit by despairing woman. Time loop reset.

Exp Totals:
- Banjo Fishwick, Specialist (Con man): 348 (Level up at 1500)- William Fox-Shitt, Level 1 Cleric: 348 (Level up at 1750)
- Insanity Mammoth, Level 1 Barbarian: 348 (Level up at 2000)
- Joe, Level 1 Barbarian: 348 (Level up at 2000)
- Zena, Level 1 Fighter: 348 (Level up at 2000)
- Andromeda Buffy Spiderbite, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 348 (Level up at 2250)
- Blue Jon, Level 1 Magic-User: 348 (Level up at 2250)
- POWERLAD!, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 248
 (Level up at 2250)
[[]]

Loop ?

Characters:
- POWERLAD!, Muscle Wizard Crossbow-Maker
- Ignacious Dark, Moorish Fighter, ex-Prison Warden
ZARAT, Ratman who fled a sinking ship
- Flaming Fury, Dwarven Academic
- Captain Book, Mad Pirate
- William Fox-Shitt, Glue-Sniffing Cleric
- Meg, Halfling Clown
- Elf, Elf
- Borrick, Dwarven Dentist

Enemies Defeated:
- Herman Van Kaus (10 exp)
Total: 10 exp

Treasure and Equipment:
- Unknown. Loop in progress.
Total: Unknown

Exploration:
- Explored 3 Dunnsmouth houses (150 exp)
- Entered the Church (50 exp)
- Encountered Magda (50 exp)
- Discovered the stone circle (50 exp)
Total: 300 exp

Events:
A party of adventurers sails into a bank of fog, heading towards some very familiar docks. POWERLAD steers them in. (50 exp)- A man looms from the fog, looking like the guy from American Gothic. He questions the party about what they're doing here... and is an absolutely MASSIVE racist. (50 exp)
- The Dwarfs, Elf, Halfing and Ratman are forced to punt the longboat away from the pier. The swarthy Ignacious Dark is a target of particular hatred, Herman only relents when he's told that Ignacious is a William's slave (50 exp)
--- Team Human
- Ignacious intially holds up against the cavalcade of racial insults, but being called "darkie" is too much for him. He jumps in to attack Herman. The old guy is surprisingly spry, poking the fighter in the chest with his pitchfork! (50 exp)
- Captain Book ducks under the pitchfork and slashes Herman's chest to shit with his broken cutlass, pulls his guts out of his belly, and strangles him to death with his own viscera. A victory for social justice! (50 exp)
- They jump into the slain Herman's skiff and punt it through the deeper waters of the swamp, heading straight for the church. (50 exp)
- They get to where the deep water kind of just peters out into soggy bog and walk up to the Church, meeting the kinda crazy priest within, Father Iwanopolous. (50 exp)
- Captain Book heads off to the house just along the way and introduces himself to Billy-Sue Samson, a rather attractive older lady who quickly whisks the dear captain off to bed. Coitus ensues. (50 exp)
- While "William Fuck-Sake" goes off to get trashed on communion wine with Father Iwanopolous, the other humans check out the graveyard. Four surnames keep coming up - Duncaster, Dunlop, Samson and Van Kaus. (50 exp)
- Captain Book keeps trying to get info from Billy-Sue mid-coitus, but she tells him to shut up and keep going. Captain Book is slightly disconcerted to find that she moans a bit like a man. We leave the situation here! (50 exp)
--- Non-Humans
- The demihuman party try to head into the swamps in their longboat, but quickly get stuck in the bog. They climb up onto slightly-less-wet ground and discover a stone cottage right at the edge of the water. (50 exp)
- Inside is... a gypsy! Wonderful! They cross her palm with silver, and she lets them inside to dry off. Her name is Magda and she's here to find the Time Cube - an artifact of immense magical power. (50 exp)
- She also seems to have some knowledge of the time loop, going "aahh of course!" to the theory that the loop restarts whenever someone dies. Definitely Time Cube related, she says. She also warns the party about a man called Uncle Ivan who claims to be her husband. (50 exp)
- She gives the party some gypsy healing salves (heals 1d6 HP, or wipes out poison) and declines their offer to join them. (50 exp)
- They head on, finding the grandma's house from before! Meg the Halfling attempts to persuade the old woman that she's just going to the church to meet Uncle Ivan. Granny doesn't buy it and fires the massive crossbow, misses, and asks Meg to stand still while she reloads. (50 exp)
- Meg bolts before she can do so, but the group do see a large stone circle. In the centre, a catamaran and an Elf checking out a standing stone. Under a nearby lean-to, three people with weird spider mutations. (50 exp)
- The spider men seem friendly and chatty. The Time Cube is mentioned, and the time form a cube shape with their hands to demonstrate. But suddenly one of the party is engulfed in Faerie Fire! Oh no! The spider people, reluctantly, attack. We end on that cliffhangerish moment. (50 exp)
Total: 850 exp

Misc:
- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)
- Aggressive Negotiations 
bonus (50 exp)
- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- Coitus boners (50 exp)
- Deja Vu 
bonus (50 exp)
- Ludicrous Gore bonus (50 exp)
- Pundemonium bonus bonus (50 exp)
- Social Justice Warrior bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- What the Fuck Guys bonus (50 exp)
Total: 500 exp

Death Toll and Injuries:
- None yet!

Exp Totals:
- POWERLAD!, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 433 (Level up at 2250)
- William Fox-Shitt, Level 1 Cleric: 433
 (Level up at 1750)
- Captain Book, Level 1 Specialist (Pirate): 185 (Level up at 1500)
- ZARAT, Level 1 Ratman: 185 (Level up at 1500)

- Ignacious Dark, Level 1 Fighter: 185 (Level up at 2000)
- Meg, Level 1 Halfling: 185 (Level up at 2000)- Borrick, Level 1 Dwarf: 185 (Level up at 2200)
- Flaming Fury, Level 1 Dwarf: 185 (Level up at 2200)
- Elf, Level 1 Elf (Bibliognost): 185 (Level up at 3000)
[[]]

Since the characters are getting shuffled between loops, any meta exp stuff is going to be tied to YOU the player, not the character! So here goes:

Individual Bonus Exp:
- Art Attack bonus (Tom - 100 exp)
- Cartographer bonus (Tom - 100 exp)
- Recap Remembrancer bonus (Kitty - 100 exp)
- Snackbringer bonus (Fraser, Ollie, James G, Andy, Charles, otherswhoimighthaveforgottenpleaseletmeknow - 100 exp ea.)

Meta-Exp Totals:
- Tom: 200 exp
- Kitty: 100 exp
- Fraser: 100 exp
- Ollie: 100 exp
- James G: 100 exp
- Andy: 100 exp
- Charles: 100 exp

Monday, 13 March 2017

Session 127 - Vitam Mortem

Everyone is dead.

Behold, a moving tribute to Zan's death -
Zan's Death - Session 127 - 

To mark this sad occasion and the end of an era, we're going to be advancing the game timeline by a few decades.
Surviving characters will become NPCs. Blank slate. If you have some idea of how your character's history would play out after all of your friends are dead, do feel free to let me know.




Session 127 - Vitam Mortem

Campaign Date:
Thursday, 19 May, 1550
Moon Phase: Waxing Crescent
Zodiac: Taurus

Enemies Defeated:
- Aetheldredd Aleph, Exalted Interrogator
- A couple of skeletons
- A whole lot of skeleton hands
Total: party kill

Treasure and Equipment:

- A golden goblet (6666 exp)
- An emerald-set mummy crown (1400 exp)
Total: party kill

Exploration:- We cannot get out... They are coming.
Total: party kill

Events:

- There is an air of acceptance and grim humour around the table. Today's theme music is Ride of the Rohirrim for its air of doomed heroism.
-- Outside
- Lulu has ascended Mt Death Frost, barbarian army at her back. They fight a doomed rearguard action against the limitless Dead, giving Lulu ONE CHANCE to enter the fortress!
- She peels off with her honour guard and the newly-returned Dante the Elf, wrenches the ramp off the siege tower, and they use it as cover against the massive amounts of crossbow fire.
- By the time Lulu reaches the cover of the skull-mouth gate, only 3 barbarians remain alive.
- The skull yawns wide! The ramp is put under the chomping teeth of the gate, saving the life of the last barbarian to walk through.
- They're in the gatehouse. Crawling skeletal hands pour from the murderholes above!
- Lulu goes to pull the door open and... it's blocked! Of course! The others blocked it last session!
- Lulu instead just goes to murder all the crawling hands, she belly flops and does the worm and rolls around and just crushes the shit out of them. Meanwhile...
-- Inside
- Jade's arm is grabbed! It's zombie Lorrick, crushed head and all! She smacks it with her sword, and in return it nearly scratches her face off! She plays dead, which she nearly is.
- Zan steps past with his electro-mace and smashes Zombie Lorrick! Zombie Lorrick dies again!
- Someone unblocks the main doors, and Lulu enters with the other team! Hurrah!
- Cranky Jim and the newly healed Jade approach the altar with the express purpose of desecrating it. While Jade uses a puppet to maneuvre the golden goblet into her backpack, Jim starts carving a fire rune onto the rear of the altar.
- This triggers the clay golem. 
I realise that everyone is actually going to die here.
- The hand grabs Cranky Jim, crushing his arm! Everyone else whirls round to confront this enormous foe.
- Many charge. Lorrick Jr casts a Magic Squirrile, Svetnir charges with his hedge trimmers, Zan heals with a chocolate orange.
- A multi-wrestle results in Jade getting flicked into a wall and crushing her arm. She's fucked.
- Kuan-Tim engages a Repel Life rune, heals Jade with it, rolls under the hand, forces the hand against the altar but also heals it.
- Lulu flicks the magic rope around a finger, tries to argue that this means the hand is "plausibly trapped" to no avail.
- THE DOOR BURSTS IN! IT'S THE FUCKING MUMMY GUY!
- He walks in, nobody answers his questions, 2d6 damage for all as their BONES FREEZE WITHIN THEM
- JADE DIES - frozen solid from within.
- THE BARBARIANS DIE, shattering!
- Kwan-Tim passes out!
- POWERMAN gets severe frostbite! He's hurting!
- Lulu grapples the mummy, shoves rags into its mouth to prevent it speaking. It works!!!
- Guido is the only one still standing versus the hand. It crushes his body! Guido's head rolls along the ground, wailing.
- Skeletons are piling out of the door. Sophia Subjugates the first two and sends them at the hand! Zan casts heroism! Lorrick swaps a spell mid-cast and OH NO
- Chaos Reigns! He begins vomiting out a huge eel with his dad's face. It wriggles from his throat constantly! Shit's nasty!
- Lulu and the mummy are evenly matched! They continue wrestling despite stabs from emerging skeletons!
- Zan HOLDS THE DOOR! Skeletons can no longer emerge!
- Cranky Jim runs past the hand into the next room... discovering the hand is attached to a giant clay man! Fuck that, he says, and shoves ALL THE DRUGS into his mouth! He does a gambit, hoping to disable the hand!
- "It's atrocious. Hahaha!" - Andy
- CRANKY JIM DIES. He's crushed against the wall, breaking his neck. He spasms for a few rounds more. In his drug-addled mind, he's a victorious hero. I discover I was actually really fond of Cranky Jim.
- Lulu's pinned the fucking mummy, and twists his head clean off! The skull rolls around and lands next to Guido, who can do nothing as he witnesses the deaths of all his friends!
- Sophia runs to save POWERMAN! Electroshock makes the hand spasm!
- Zan and Lulu are murdering skeletons, while Sophia tries to shield the unconscious POWERMAN with her body... she does so... but the hand extends a finger and slowly, cruelly, crushes her spine.
- Lulu and Zan are the only ones remaining conscious... exceopt Lorrick Jr finally stops vomiting that eel! Last attempts at survival are attempted. Zan's spells keep getting disrupted by skeletons. Zan holds the line as Lulu flees.
- The hand begins squishing unconscious foes one at a time. Squish. Squish. Squish.
- Zan bolts for Guido's head. Priority is now to save Guido. The skeletons assault Lorrick, who's quickly knocked out before they turn back to Lulu et al.
- "Fucking Lulu is tabking death rolls. God help us all".
- POWERMAN tries valiantly to destroy the hand... but it crushes him and gives him brutal brain damage. The only thing he can mutter is "Sophia... S-Sophia...". I hate this.
- Sophia and POWERMAN are crushed together, now they'll never be apart.
- Lulu grabs Guido and activates Bullshit Backstory ability to "survive the results of a cataclysmic failure".
- Zan holds the door. He kills 36 skeletons before finally succumbing.
- The fortress returns to the soft silence of a tomb.
Total: party kill

Misc:
- Art Attack bonus (Charles' Next - 100 exp)
- Attacco d'Arte bonus (Charles' Next - 100 exp)
- Attacco d'Video Magnifico bonus (Charles' Next - 100 exp)
- Recap Remembrancer bonus (Tom - 100 exp)
- Snackbringer bonus (Ollie's Next, Fraser's Next - 100 exp ea.)
- Sole Survivor bonus (Lulu/Ollie's Next - 1000 exp)
Total: party kill + bonuses
Rumours:
- Ask not for whom the bell tolls
- It tolls for thee

Death Toll and Injuries:
- Lulu Spiderbite, probably crippled but somehow alive.
- Guido, decapitated (but survived, of course)
- Zan, fought off an army of skeletons before finally succumbing
- Cranky Jim, neck snapped against a wall by a giant clay arm
- Sophia, crushed by a giant clay thumb
- POWERMAN, nearly died of hypothermia before being crushed by a giant clay finger
- Jade, frozen from the inside
- Svetnir, bled (sapped?) out due to the unkind ministrations of a giant clay hand
- Lorrick Jr, stabbed to death by skeletons after spending most of combat vomiting out one long eel
- Dante, fell unconscious then died of unknown causes
- Kuan-Tim, smooshed by giant clay finger

[[]]

Exp Totals:
Oli / Lulu Spiderbite, Daughter of Lord Gorga, Level 7 Barbarian: 96053 (Level up at 128000)*MIA*
Charles / Zan, Spermling of Zea, Level 7 Cleric (Termaxian): 78190 (Level up at 112000)
*DECEASED*
Andy / Cranky Jim, Level 6 Dwarf: 63165 (Level up at 70400)
*DECEASED*
Kitty / Sophia, Level 6 Necromancer: 61928 (Level up at 72000)
*DECEASED*
-- POWERMAN!, Level 5 POWERFIGHTER: 20551 (Level up at 32000)
*DECEASED*
-- Guido, Possessed Skull
*MIA*
Tom / Jade, Level 5 Elf (Languid Wastrel): 36737 (Level up at 48000)
*DECEASED*
Fraser / Svetnir, Level 4 Goblin: 14952 (Level up at 16000)*DECEASED*
Henry / Lorrick Jr, Level 2 Magic-User: 5026 (Level up at 9000)
*DECEASED*
Warren / Dante, Level 2 Elf (Flitting Gad): 3586 (Level up at 6000)
*DECEASED*
James / Kuan-Tim, Level 1 Specialist: 1068 (Level up at 1500)
*DECEASED*

Friday, 3 March 2017

Session 126 - Death Comes For Us All

Things are looking bad. Real bad.
Nowhere to rest. Nowhere to hide. Hunted by the numberless ranks of the hungry dead.
Is this heading towards our first true TPK?


Inline images 4
- Tom draws: Guido


Inline images 6
Tom draws: Lorrick starts a garden

Inline images 2
Henry shits out: whatever this is
Tom defends: "
oh no henry's is outstanding
and deserves a full 100 exp
at least"

Inline images 1
James Ratman scribbles expressionistically: Peril

So I can find it again, table of possible Lulu-turning-up locations next sessions as follows

Roll 1d6:1- Deathfrost courtyard, Lulu nursing a slain Lola in her arms, screaming to the heavens as the barbarians are cut down by crossbows around her 
2 - At the siege tower. Barbarians in doomed battle with zombie horde. 1d10 barbarians can peel off to follow lulu. Lola's fate unknown. 
3- Climbing east mountain face with steely knives gripped between teeth. 1d10 barbarians will survive the skeletal hands that crawl over the top. 
4- Foot of mountain, charging with 1d100 barbarians at her back and Lola by her side 
5 - atop lower curtain wall to the west, as yet unseen due to horde distracting, Lulu ropes up alongside Lola and Lord Gorga himself! 
6- the hand grabbing Jade's arm is... Lulu! Somehow she made it in alone!



Session 126 - Death Comes For Us All

Campaign Date:
Thursday, 19 May, 1550
Moon Phase: Waxing Crescent
Zodiac: Taurus

New Characters:
- Kwan Tim, a Specialist from the far east who self-medicates with opium to forestall his skeletal tuberculosis.
- Lorrick Jr, Lorrick's son who turned up just in time to miss his daddy's horrific death.

Enemies Defeated:
- Masses of skeletal hands (100 exp)
- Waves of flesh kites (100 exp)
- Several more hand-swarms (30 exp)
- Several 'armless skeleton couriers (0 exp)
Total: 230 exp

Treasure and Equipment:

- A black hymnal - Book #102 - Duvan'Ku
- A religious text - Book #102 - Duvan'Ku
Total: 0 exp

Exploration:- Explored 4 dungeon areas not seen for some time (80 exp)
Total: 80 exp

Events:

- We join the group in media res. Svetnir surveys the area from atop the siege tower, Jade and Zan are having a panic attack in the corner, and the rest are fortifying the lower door. (50 exp)
- Svetnir sees animated hands coming from the east, flesh kits from the west, a rain of crossbow bolts from the north, and a horde of Dead with a Necromancer at the head coming from the south. Fuck! (50 exp)
- Sophia orders her undead army to dig a trench around the tower and guard it from the south. This will, off camera, go on to work rather well. (50 exp)
- Lorrick goes down the gatehouse stairs and emerges into the courtyard, diving into the mud to hide.
- Cranky Jim throws some oil on the wall to stymie the crawling hands and begins sweeping them off. It's effective! They can't climb covered in oil. (50 exp)
- Jade makes Firewater, spits it at the flesh kites drifting in from the west. It creates an opening, and she darts west along the wall to a trapdoor she can see. Coming out of cover exposes her to crossbow fire, but she's ok. (50 exp)
- The trapdoor is locked! On her way back she's swooped by a skin kite, but throws it off towards the rest of the flock to delay them. (50 exp)
- Zan decides the siege tower is indefensible and casts the mighty Protection from Evil 10' Radius! A shining bubble of holy light shines out from Zan's holy symbol - Zea's balls. (50 exp)
- The party leg it across the courtyard, crossbow fire from the skeletons is deflected again and again by the light of the gods! It seems they favour everyone but Svetnir's goblin minions, who both fall dead from lucky shots. (50 exp)
- Reaching the cover of the skull-faced main door, they look behind to see an ant column of skeleton claws and a sky of encroaching skin kites! Lorrick fumbles his different keys into the lock... one works!? (50 exp)
- They pile into the fortress gatehouse. Guido, taking the rear, is crushed when the skull-shaped doorway closes on him!!! "Luckily" it just crushes him on the lower back, so he can still walk on his hands. (50 exp)
- It's pitch dark, so the light runes come on. Scanning around it looks like all the walls and floor have been carved out of dense vegetation somehow frozen into igneous rock. (50 exp)
- A door looms ahead, made from the same black stone with big brass rings set into them. As skeletal  hands begin pouring from murderholes, the party sets their shoulders and pushes! It doesn't budge! (50 exp)
- Jade steps forward to defend and Sophia sucks down a Last Breath, blowing her last Subjugate Dead spell! Her swarms of hands begin wrestling those falling from the ceiling. The door won't open! Shit's getting desperate! (50 exp)
- Lorrick pulls the door open. Forehead slapping ensues. (50 exp)
- Sophia doesn't miss a beat, calling a swarm of hands to carry her forward as the other swarms grapple in the gatehouse. The rest of the party follow and block the door behind them! Hand-based jokes such as "handy" and "nobody to go with" ensue. (50 exp)
- The party find themselves in a strange chapel. Sephulchral. Huge stained glass windows glow with a shimmering pale blue light, like a world underwater. Pews lead up to an altar, upon which is a book and a golden chalice. (50 exp)
- A door to the left has a human face stretched across it! It screams! Sophia commands it to stop and it complies. (50 exp)
- Kwan Tim is here, wreathed in opium smoke. Maybe he was always here. Who can say? He inspects the pews and finds identical Duvan'Ku hymnals, then approaches the altar and grabs the black bible upon it. (50 exp)
- Lorrick, eyes full of avarice, grabs the chalice. It sticks to his hand! And a line of black inkiness starts spreading up his arm. Behind it, his flesh is turning invisible to reveal the bone. (50 exp)
- He turns, exultant! And behind him a huge figure rises. He sees it not at all in time, and an enormous hand grasps him around the middle! One of its fingers slips, wrenching Lorrick's entire lower jaw straight off! Blood explodes over his dangling tongue. (50 exp)
- As the others rush into action to help, the hand crushes Lorrick's skull between thumb and index finger. He smells tulips, his body spasming in the hand that's holding his body tight. A plant bearing cursed fruit bursts from his belly, a symptom of previous chaos, and the fruit spatters rotten to the floor. (50 exp)
- Too late, the others reach the dais. Cranky Jim fires off a crossbow bolt, which does little to hurt the hand, while Svetnir and Jade jump into melee and flail ineffectually amongst the blood and rotten fruit coating the floor. (50 exp)
- Zan steps forward with a Command to FLEE! The hand does so, taking Lorrick's corpse with it, but not before Sophia manages to snatch his Last Breath. The survivors run the fuck away, plowing through the screaming-face door and into oddly organic corridors. (50 exp)
- There's another screaming face door ahead, scream cut short by cutting the face horizontally. Inside, a bunch of armless courier skeletons and a weird south american mummy dude in a huge robe and a crown surveying a mural on a wall! (50 exp)
- Zan retreats a little into the corridors, then smells a horrific smell in the darkness and is attacked by cruel claws! He's fine though somehow and runs back to the group. Behind him... nothing?! (50 exp)
- He casts a Dispel Magic into the room from the safety of the door, knocking out a bunch of courier skeletons (50 exp)
- Jade decides to use a hyperpoison bolt to kill the dude! ...and fumbles... and nearly TPKs everyone. Nearly. (50 exp)
- Kuan-Tim starts drawing a glyph, hoping it'll help versus the mummy man. (50 exp)
- After another (thankfully bloodless) fumble Jade gives up the crossbow for a bad job and runs into the room to attack the guy directly. (50 exp)
- Cranky Jim follows, along with Sophia. As soon as the figure turns around and starts speaking, everyone in the room starts taking damage from a strange chill that seems to emanate from their VERY BONES! (50 exp)
- Jade's gone in to attack, but the mummy starts shanking her with a knife! Shit's getting real, Jade falls back but the cold bursts out from inside her, giving her brutal second-degree cold burns across her flesh. She passes out from the pain. (50 exp)
- Sophia and Cranky Jim pop off crossbow bolts at the mummy as Zan runs in to drag Jade to safety. He shoves one of his dwindling chocolate orange slices into her mouth, stemming the bleeding. (50 exp)
- Cranky Jim tries to wrestly the mummy into position so that Sophia can hyperpoison it, but the shot goes wide again! (50 exp)
- Meanwhile, Kuan-Tim has finally finished drawing the glyph! He blasts it out - dealing damage to Cranky Jim who's caught in the blast but throwing the mummy back! (50 exp)
- Zan cures Jade's wounds (phew!) but can't do anything about the second degree frostbite. The door is slammed and the party book it back towards the chapel. (50 exp)
- Jade pushes the door into the chapel... and a hand grabs her arm!!! What a cliffhanger!!! (50 exp)
Total: 1850 exp

Misc:
- Antagonist Antagoniser bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Escape bonus (50 exp)
- Enmity Inciter bonus (50 exp)
- I Immediately Regret This Decision bonus (50 exp)
- Ludicrous Gore bonus (50 exp)
- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)
- Ridiculously Bad Rolling bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- Spoopy 
bonus (50 exp)
- This! Is! Sparta! bonus (50 exp)
- What Could Possibly Go Wrong bonus (50 exp)
- Why Did You Touch That bonus (50 exp)- I Know This Place bonus (Zan - 100 exp)
- Art Attack bonus (Jade, Kuan-Tim, Lorrick Jr - 100 exp)
- Attacco D'arte bonus (Jade - 100 exp)
- Artapalooza bonus (Jade - 100 exp)

- Recap Remembrancer bonus (Jade - 100 exp)
- Snackbringer bonus (All - 100 exp ea.)- Death's Witness bonus (All witnesses- 100 exp ea.)
- Near Death Experience bonus (Jade - 100 exp)
- Bonus Lasertag Exp! (Zan - 1000 exp)
Total: 600 exp + bonuses
Rumours:
- you will not be mourned

Death Toll and Injuries:
- Jade, second degree frostbite
- Lorrick, jaw torn off and skull crushed by enormous clay hand

[[]]

Exp Totals:
Charles / Zan, Spermling of Zea, Level 7 Cleric (Termaxian): 78190 (Level up at 112000)Andy / Cranky Jim, Level 6 Dwarf: 63165 (Level up at 70400)
Kitty / Sophia, Level 6 Necromancer: 61928 (Level up at 72000)-- POWERMAN!, Level 5 POWERFIGHTER: 20551 (Level up at 32000)
-- Guido, Possessed Skull on giant skeleton
Tom / Jade, Level 5 Elf (Languid Wastrel): 36737 (Level up at 48000)
Fraser / Svetnir, Level 4 Goblin: 14952 (Level up at 16000)Henry / Lorrick, Level 3 Magic-User: 8915 (Level up at 9000)*DECEASED*
Henry / Lorrick Jr, Level 2 Magic-User: 5026 (Level up at 9000)
*DING!* +1d4 HP! +1 spell/day! +free spell!
James / Kuan-Tim, Level 1 Specialist: 1068 (Level up at 1500)

Absent or Retired:
Oli / Jack, Level 2 Fighter: 3703 (Level up at 4000)
Henry / Gorund, Level 5 Specialist: 23392 (Level up at 24000)

Charles / Double, Level 1 Halfling: 1975 (Level up at 2000)

Fraser / Greater Fate Shepard's Union, Level 1 The Extras: 1975 (Level up at 2250)
Kyle / Jain Doe, Level 6 Dwarf: 42192 (Level up at 70400)
Richard / Camrick, Level 4 Specialist (Cultist): 9229 (Level up at 12000)
Oli / Lulu Spiderbite, Daughter of Lord Gorga, Level 7 Barbarian: 96053 (Level up at 128000)
Sascha / Deek, Level 1 Specialist (Jack-of-all-Trades): 480 (Level up at 1500)
Warren / Dante, Level 2 Elf (Flitting Gad): 3586 (Level up at 6000)
Fraser / Jumarak, Level 6 Muscle Wizard: 54957 (Level up at 72000)
Dominic / Sir Stabbington Shanks, Level 7 Fighter: 68702 (Level up at 128000)
Tom / Seraph Dawnstride, Level 2 Cleric (Nonanist): 2979 (Level up at 3500)
Anthony / Grunt, Level 3 Barbarian: 5298 (Level up at 8000)
Charlie / Una, Level 2 Specialist (Rogue): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
Tomas / Shiz Nittlebam, Level 2 Magic User: 3877 (Level up at 4500)
Richard / Stonecold, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 2264 (Level up at 4500)

Owen / Guyphy, Level 1 Elf (Scalbert Gumph): 1245 (Level up at 3000)
Clo / Bamuk, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 3869 (Level up at 4500)
Will / Walkul the Rogue, Level 1 Specialist: 1301 (Level up at 1500)

Dominic's (?) Retainer
-- Dr Charmington, Level 3 Specialist (Quack): 4821 (Level up at 6000)
Joe / Joe's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 321 (Level up at 2250)
Steve / Brand Earthhammer, Level 1 Fighter: 395 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver R / Reynard, Level 3 Specialist (Sneak Thief): 4077 (Level up at 6000)
Matteo / Lucifer, Level 1 Necromancer: 933 (Level up at 2250)

Ellie / Ellie's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 744 (Level up at 2250)
Jerry / Jerry's Next Character, Level 1 ???: 200 (Level up at ???)
Daniel / Nash, Level 1 Fighter: 455 (Level up at 2000)
Sarah / Mana, Level 4 Specialist (Thief): 13447 (Level up at 24000)
Jim / Jim's Fighter, Level 1 Fighter: 241 (Level up at 2000)
Louis / Louis' Next Character, Level 1 ???: 2062 (Level up at ???)
Oliver R / Osar, Level 2 Specialist (Dabbler): 661 (Level up at 3000)
Charlie / Le Chaz III, Level 1 Cleric: 670 (Level up at 1750)
David / Theras, Level 5 Specialist (Assassin): 13422 (Level up at 24000)
Mariana / Joe Joe, Level 5 Halfling: 28949 (Level up at 32000)
Dana / Bingo Augustus, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 19863 (Level up at 36000)
James / Quarion, Level 3 Elf (Gremling): 7947 (Level up at 12000)
Gary / Skirr Abderian, Level 1 Specialist (Thief): 416 (Level up at 1500)
Mariana / Aurora, Level 3 Cleric: 4018 (Level up at 7000)
Wai / Mogwi Stitch-Up, Level 2 Specialist: 2715 (Level up at 3000)
Sam / Lucados Orbrus, Level 2 Fighter: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Clay / Carthas, Level 1 Fighter: 371 (Level up at 2000)
John / West, Level 1 Cleric: 521 (Level up at 1750)
Hayley / Bob, Level 2 Dwarf: 2999 (Level up at 4400)
Niall / Roht, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 722 (Level up at 2250)
??? / Unnamed Cleric of the Garden God, Level 1 Cleric: 0 (Level up at 1750)
Florent / Sir Arthur, Level 1 Fighter: 186 (Level up at 2000)
Jamie / Alden, Level 1 Magic-User: 186 (Level up at 2250)
Ben / Thant, Level 1 Cleric: 186 (Level up at 1750)
Mike / Arran Folynn, Level 1 Specialist (Rogue): 186 (Level up at 1500)
Alex / Arhnin, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1518 (Level up at 3000)
Daniel / Davrak, Level 1 Magic User: 976 (Level up at 2250)
Nuno / Temperion, Level 1 Magic User: 742 (Level up at 2250)
Leo / Leo, Level 4 Cleric: 11102 (Level up at 14000)
Liisa / Peggy Pigrider, Level 5 Dwarf: 19420 (Level up at 35200)
-- Mr Pig, Level 1 Porcine.
Aron / Alphonse the Gentleman Barbarian, Level 1 Barbarian: 1184 (Level up at 2000)
Nimrod / U, Level 2 Specialist (Monk): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
Renzo / (Renzo's next character), Level 2 ???: 3462 (Level up at ???)
Clay / Svalborg, Level 2 Goblin: 2204 (Level up at 4000)
-- Tzani Spillios, Level 0 Scholar
Thomas / Tobias, Level 2 Cleric: 2204 (Level up at 3500)
Josh / Larry, Level 1 Elf (Galumfy Dotard): 383 (Level up at 3000)
Davide / Golden Junk, Level 1 Elf (Misergeist): 1971 (Level up at 3000)
Pedro / Dexter, Level 1 Necromancer: 1460 (Level up at 2250)
Mark / Marley, Level 2 Specialist: 2850 (Level up at 3000)
Rita / Arwen, Level 1 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 643 (Level up at 3000)
Sophia / Ceres, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1487 (Level up at 3000)
Alex / Tick, Level 1 Goblin: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver / Pip, Level 1 Halfling: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Ej / Matilda, Level 2 Specialist: 1839 (Level up at 3000)
Sev / Brad the Stabbinator, Level 1 Fighter: 1871 (Level up at 2000)
Harry / Reg, Level 1 Dwarf: 150 (Level up at 2200)
Mike / Lootle Halfstack, Level 1 Specialist: 715 (Level up at 1500)
Aaron / Maura, Level 1 Halfling: 1637 (Level up at 2000)
Matt / Sheik, Level 1 Barbarian: 767 (Level up at 2000)
Shaun / Nagash, Level 1 Necromancer: 817 (Level up at 2250)
rhhjdghjdshgjbleeeh / Elric, Level 1 Cleric: 817 (Level up at 1750)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 12881 (Level up at 18000)
Pawel / Devein, Level 1 Dwarf: 1160 (Level up at 2200)
Marco / Sauron, Level 1 Necromancer: 1530 (Level up at 2250)
Tom / NWA Chuck Langley, Level 1 Cleric: 951 (Level up at 1750)
Ros / Rhea, Level 1 Elf (Capriped): 850 (Level up at 3000)
John / Level 1 Magic-User: 1500 (Level up at 2000)
Chris / Crocell, Level 4 Halfling: 12318 (Level up at 16000)
-- Belial, Level 1 Fighter: 1047 (Level up at 2000)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 9129 (Level up at 18000)
Renzo / Gastani, Level 2 Barbarian: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Chris2 / Gadling, Level 3 Specialist (Assassin): 4738 (Level up at 6000)
Joanna / Artemis, Level 2 Specialist (Healer): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
George / Magnus, Level 1 Cleric: 1342 (Level up at 1750)
Lisa / Bella, Level 1 Magic User: 1951 (Level up at 2250)
Jacob / Wizard Khalifa, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 430 (Level up at 2250)
Marius' Totally-Not-Necromancer, Level 3 Necromancer: 5111 (Level up at 9000)
Nadav / Frog, Level 1 Fighter: 732 (Level up at 2000)
Charlie / Losh, Level 1 Elf (Habberjock): 309 (Level up at 3000)
Jack / Uldric, Level 1 Magic User: 409 (Level up at 2250)
Kate / Khaleesi, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 37 (Level up at 2250)
Emmi / Lyrel, Level 2 Necromancer: 2891 (Level up at 4500)
--- Schmidt, Level 0 Human