Monday 20 February 2017

Session 124 - White Milk Junkies

I'll let the art attacks speak for themselves.

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Session 124 - White Milk Junkies

Campaign Date:
Market Day, 15 May, 1550
Moon Phase: New Moon
Zodiac: Taurus

New Characters:
- Douglas Dongle, a brave Halfling with big dreams and a short lifespan.
- Double, a Halfling farrier who wields hoof nippers and a horseshoe.
- The Greater Fate Shepard's Union (GFSU), a gaggle of shepards scoping for a white milk fix

Enemies Defeated:
- Two fucked up junkies writhing around on the floor (10 exp)
- Five milked-up ratmen, smashed and chopped but they got some good bites in! (125 exp)
- A whole lot of rats (10 exp)
Total: 145 exp

Treasure and Equipment:

- Lard
- Key #50
- Book #288 - Geometry
- 6 bottles of White Milk. 10 doses each. (6000 exp)
Total: 6000 exp

Exploration:- First party to enter the undercity (100 exp)
- Explored 5 dungeon areas (100 exp)
Total: 230 exp

Events:

- Jade takes a cigarette, puts it in her mouth. The smoke lets her see into the infrared spectrum! She uses this to find the trapdoor that the ratmen fled down into. (50 exp)
- Joining her for this delve are Gorund, a couple of Halflings, and the gaggle of shepards that make up the Greater Fate Shepard's Union (50 exp)
- They descend! Into the brass and steam underground machinery that clanks and clatters beneath Fortress City Fate. It's filthy. People live down here. (50 exp)
- Hearing voices, the group head in that direction. It's some goblins! (50 exp)
- Their leader, Spigot, is swiftly mind-controlled by Douglas. He gives up his lard after a moment of confusion, and tells of the ghosts and strange mechanical beasts that roam these tunnels. (50 exp)
- Asked where the ratmen have been coming from, Spigot shows the group where they've been crawling into a huge sewer pipe, you'd have to climb along the inside. (50 exp)
- Douglas has a great idea, he'll get on Spigot's shoulders and get him to jump in! Spigot complies, jumps, and they are both pulled underwater by the rushing undercurrent! (50 exp)
- They drown in shit. (50 exp)
- The other goblins, aghast at their leader's actions, take their leave and go to see if they can recover their boss's body downstream. (50 exp)
- Jack the Samurai conveniently turns up! The group head back the other way, to where the ratmen supposedly come from. They meet a city maintenance guy down there who tells them to report any damage to the authority. (50 exp)
- Opening a hatch door, Jade puffs on another red eye cigarette. Within - ratmen! And normal men! They look around inside, revealing they're all white milk junkies! (50 exp)
- They need a fuckin' fix, man. Gorund tries to wrestle one into the wall to interrogate it but fails! It bites into his shoulder and infects him with White Milk! (50 exp)
- A human junkie grabs at Jade's leg... and she begins making out with him. Lovely. (50 exp)
- Everyone is wrestling terribly. Jack is especially bad at this, failing over and over and getting milked up to fuck. He's intensely agoraphobic, but has heaps of extra HP! (50 exp)
- Jade disembowels the guy she's been kissing... dick first. It's rough. (50 exp)
- "Man how are these shitty rats not dying yet?! Oh shit of course! They're on White Milk!" (50 exp)
- The extras run in! And promptly all fall over each other slapstick style. More shit wrestling, resulting in Gorund's shoulder getting chewed open. Jade blows some ratmen minds very literally with a magic missile barrage. (50 exp)
- With their shit finally together, the team finally manage to kill all the ratmen. Phew! (50 exp)
- Squealing from the next room are some rat swarms! Oh no! They're dealt with quickly via Jade's firewater spell and Jack diving into the swarms sword-first. (50 exp)
- In the next room, a massive heat signature. It's a fucking enormous rat! Being milked by clanking machinery! She squeals! (50 exp)
- Jade and Jack grab some White Milk from the frothing chambers that seem to be processing it, pouring it into various honey jars and wine bottles that they've got on hand. (50 exp)
- Jade climbs onto the rat mother, puffs a cloud of cigarette smoke, and sees the CRAWLING HORDES BEYOND! She uses a hyperpoison crossbow bolt and fires it into the crowd, and everyone flees! (50 exp)
- They close the door behind them and run, back to the surface and safety! (50 exp)
- We discover that both Jack and Gorund have developed a taste for that sweet white milk... (50 exp)
- On the surface, they catch their breaths and Jade goes off to have a drink. We discover Lulu's retroactive carousing results in a significant debt, but Jade and Gorund bail her out. (50 exp)
- Jade goes to Bolter Blacke's apartment. He initially refuses to see her, but lets her in once she tells him she knows the source of White Milk. For some reason we begin Maximum Amdram Mode. (50 exp)
- Gorund sneaks in behind her, and skilfully hides all around Bolter's apartment. So skilful. Bolter wears an iron necklace to ward off Jade now that he knows she's an elf. (50 exp)
- But the cold iron can't ward off Gorund! He sneaks up behind and puts a knife to Bolter's throat! He's pissed, but not suicidal, and bows to her demands.
- After much negotiation, he agrees to give Jade a cut of the White Milk profits in exchange for never seeing her again. She agrees. (50 exp)
- Jade heads off to Mt Death Frost to meet up with the others. Side mission pretty much complete! (50 exp)
Total: 1500 exp

Misc:
- AAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa bonus (50 exp)
- Absolutley Disgusting bonus (50 exp)
- Aggressive Negotiations bonus (50 exp)
- Antagonist Antagoniser bonus (50 exp)
- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)
- Best of Intentions bonus (50 exp)
- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- Diplomancy bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Escape bonus (50 exp)
- Enmity Inciter bonus (50 exp)
- Hard Bargain bonus (50 exp)
- High as Fuck bonus (50 exp)
- I Immediately Regret This Decision bonus (50 exp)
- Infamy bonus (50 exp)
- Nutshot bonus (50 exp)
- Mind Control to Major Tom bonus (50 exp)
- PETA bonus (50 exp)
- Ridiculously Bad Rolling bonus (50 exp)
- What the Fuck Guys bonus (50 exp)
- Art Attack bonus (Jade, James G's next character - 100 exp ea.)
- Artapalooza bonus (Jade - 100 exp)
- Attacco d'Arte bonus (Jade - 100 exp)
- Cartographer bonus (Jade - 100 exp)
- Recap Remembrancer bonus (Jade - 100 exp)
- Snackbringer bonus (All I think - 100 exp ea.)
- Homebringer bonus (Jade - 500 exp)
- Ludicrous Host bonus (Jade - 500 exp)
- Lulu caroused! (Lulu - 10560 exp)
- Jade caroused! (Jade - 7920 exp)
- Death's Witness bonus (All but Jack - 100 exp ea.)
- Near Death Experience bonus (Gorund - 100 exp)
- Amusing Death bonus (Douglas - 500 exp to next character)

Total: 1000 exp + bonuses
Rumours:
- None yet!

Death Toll and Injuries:
- Douglas Dougal, drowned in shit.
- Gorund, shoulder chewed into by milk-mad ratman

[[]]

Exp Totals:
Tom / Jade, Level 5 Elf (Languid Wastrel): 34641 (Level up at 48000)*DING!* +1d6 HP! +1 level 1 spell/day! +1 level 3 spell/day! + free spell!
Henry / Gorund, Level 5 Specialist: 23392 (Level up at 24000)Oli / Douglas Dougle, Level 1 Halfling: 0 (Level up at 2000)*DECEASED*
Oli / Jack, Level 2 Fighter: 2375 (Level up at 4000)
*DING!* +1d8 HP! +1 to hit!
Charles / Double, Level 1 Halfling: 1975 (Level up at 2000)
Fraser / Greater Fate Shepard's Union, Level 1 The Extras: 1975 (Level up at 2250)

Absent or Retired:
Fraser / Svetnir, Level 4 Goblin: 13756 (Level up at 16000)Henry / Lorrick, Level 3 Magic-User: 8287 (Level up at 9000)
Kyle / Jain Doe, Level 6 Dwarf: 42192 (Level up at 70400)

Charles / Zan, Spermling of Zea, Level 7 Cleric (Termaxian): 75594 (Level up at 112000)
Kitty / Sophia, Level 6 Necromancer: 60532 (Level up at 72000)-- POWERMAN!, Level 5 POWERFIGHTER: 20003 (Level up at 32000)
-- Guido, Possessed Skull on giant skeleton
Andy / Cranky Jim, Level 6 Dwarf: 58769 (Level up at 70400)
James / James' next character, Level 1 ???: 300 (Level up at ???)
Richard / Camrick, 
Level 4 Specialist (Cultist): 9229 (Level up at 12000)
Oli / Lulu Spiderbite, Daughter of Lord Gorga, Level 7 Barbarian: 96053 (Level up at 128000)
Sascha / Deek, Level 1 Specialist (Jack-of-all-Trades): 480 (Level up at 1500)
Warren / Dante, Level 2 Elf (Flitting Gad): 3586 (Level up at 6000)
Fraser / Jumarak, Level 6 Muscle Wizard: 54957 (Level up at 72000)
Dominic / Sir Stabbington Shanks, Level 7 Fighter: 68702 (Level up at 128000)
Tom / Seraph Dawnstride, Level 2 Cleric (Nonanist): 2979 (Level up at 3500)
Anthony / Grunt, Level 3 Barbarian: 5298 (Level up at 8000)
Charlie / Una, Level 2 Specialist (Rogue): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
Tomas / Shiz Nittlebam, Level 2 Magic User: 3877 (Level up at 4500)
Richard / Stonecold, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 2264 (Level up at 4500)

Owen / Guyphy, Level 1 Elf (Scalbert Gumph): 1245 (Level up at 3000)
Clo / Bamuk, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 3869 (Level up at 4500)
Will / Walkul the Rogue, Level 1 Specialist: 1301 (Level up at 1500)

Dominic's (?) Retainer
-- Dr Charmington, Level 3 Specialist (Quack): 4821 (Level up at 6000)
Joe / Joe's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 321 (Level up at 2250)
Steve / Brand Earthhammer, Level 1 Fighter: 395 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver R / Reynard, Level 3 Specialist (Sneak Thief): 4077 (Level up at 6000)
Matteo / Lucifer, Level 1 Necromancer: 933 (Level up at 2250)

Ellie / Ellie's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 744 (Level up at 2250)
Jerry / Jerry's Next Character, Level 1 ???: 200 (Level up at ???)
Daniel / Nash, Level 1 Fighter: 455 (Level up at 2000)
Sarah / Mana, Level 4 Specialist (Thief): 13447 (Level up at 24000)
Jim / Jim's Fighter, Level 1 Fighter: 241 (Level up at 2000)
Louis / Louis' Next Character, Level 1 ???: 2062 (Level up at ???)
Oliver R / Osar, Level 2 Specialist (Dabbler): 661 (Level up at 3000)
Charlie / Le Chaz III, Level 1 Cleric: 670 (Level up at 1750)
David / Theras, Level 5 Specialist (Assassin): 13422 (Level up at 24000)
Mariana / Joe Joe, Level 5 Halfling: 28949 (Level up at 32000)
Dana / Bingo Augustus, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 19863 (Level up at 36000)
James / Quarion, Level 3 Elf (Gremling): 7947 (Level up at 12000)
Gary / Skirr Abderian, Level 1 Specialist (Thief): 416 (Level up at 1500)
Mariana / Aurora, Level 3 Cleric: 4018 (Level up at 7000)
Wai / Mogwi Stitch-Up, Level 2 Specialist: 2715 (Level up at 3000)
Sam / Lucados Orbrus, Level 2 Fighter: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Clay / Carthas, Level 1 Fighter: 371 (Level up at 2000)
John / West, Level 1 Cleric: 521 (Level up at 1750)
Hayley / Bob, Level 2 Dwarf: 2999 (Level up at 4400)
Niall / Roht, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 722 (Level up at 2250)
??? / Unnamed Cleric of the Garden God, Level 1 Cleric: 0 (Level up at 1750)
Florent / Sir Arthur, Level 1 Fighter: 186 (Level up at 2000)
Jamie / Alden, Level 1 Magic-User: 186 (Level up at 2250)
Ben / Thant, Level 1 Cleric: 186 (Level up at 1750)
Mike / Arran Folynn, Level 1 Specialist (Rogue): 186 (Level up at 1500)
Alex / Arhnin, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1518 (Level up at 3000)
Daniel / Davrak, Level 1 Magic User: 976 (Level up at 2250)
Nuno / Temperion, Level 1 Magic User: 742 (Level up at 2250)
Leo / Leo, Level 4 Cleric: 11102 (Level up at 14000)
Liisa / Peggy Pigrider, Level 5 Dwarf: 19420 (Level up at 35200)
-- Mr Pig, Level 1 Porcine.
Aron / Alphonse the Gentleman Barbarian, Level 1 Barbarian: 1184 (Level up at 2000)
Nimrod / U, Level 2 Specialist (Monk): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
Renzo / (Renzo's next character), Level 2 ???: 3462 (Level up at ???)
Clay / Svalborg, Level 2 Goblin: 2204 (Level up at 4000)
-- Tzani Spillios, Level 0 Scholar
Thomas / Tobias, Level 2 Cleric: 2204 (Level up at 3500)
Josh / Larry, Level 1 Elf (Galumfy Dotard): 383 (Level up at 3000)
Davide / Golden Junk, Level 1 Elf (Misergeist): 1971 (Level up at 3000)
Pedro / Dexter, Level 1 Necromancer: 1460 (Level up at 2250)
Mark / Marley, Level 2 Specialist: 2850 (Level up at 3000)
Rita / Arwen, Level 1 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 643 (Level up at 3000)
Sophia / Ceres, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1487 (Level up at 3000)
Alex / Tick, Level 1 Goblin: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver / Pip, Level 1 Halfling: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Ej / Matilda, Level 2 Specialist: 1839 (Level up at 3000)
Sev / Brad the Stabbinator, Level 1 Fighter: 1871 (Level up at 2000)
Harry / Reg, Level 1 Dwarf: 150 (Level up at 2200)
Mike / Lootle Halfstack, Level 1 Specialist: 715 (Level up at 1500)
Aaron / Maura, Level 1 Halfling: 1637 (Level up at 2000)
Matt / Sheik, Level 1 Barbarian: 767 (Level up at 2000)
Shaun / Nagash, Level 1 Necromancer: 817 (Level up at 2250)
rhhjdghjdshgjbleeeh / Elric, Level 1 Cleric: 817 (Level up at 1750)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 12881 (Level up at 18000)
Pawel / Devein, Level 1 Dwarf: 1160 (Level up at 2200)
Marco / Sauron, Level 1 Necromancer: 1530 (Level up at 2250)
Tom / NWA Chuck Langley, Level 1 Cleric: 951 (Level up at 1750)
Ros / Rhea, Level 1 Elf (Capriped): 850 (Level up at 3000)
John / Level 1 Magic-User: 1500 (Level up at 2000)
Chris / Crocell, Level 4 Halfling: 12318 (Level up at 16000)
-- Belial, Level 1 Fighter: 1047 (Level up at 2000)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 9129 (Level up at 18000)
Renzo / Gastani, Level 2 Barbarian: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Chris2 / Gadling, Level 3 Specialist (Assassin): 4738 (Level up at 6000)
Joanna / Artemis, Level 2 Specialist (Healer): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
George / Magnus, Level 1 Cleric: 1342 (Level up at 1750)
Lisa / Bella, Level 1 Magic User: 1951 (Level up at 2250)
Jacob / Wizard Khalifa, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 430 (Level up at 2250)
Marius' Totally-Not-Necromancer, Level 3 Necromancer: 5111 (Level up at 9000)
Nadav / Frog, Level 1 Fighter: 732 (Level up at 2000)
Charlie / Losh, Level 1 Elf (Habberjock): 309 (Level up at 3000)
Jack / Uldric, Level 1 Magic User: 409 (Level up at 2250)
Kate / Khaleesi, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 37 (Level up at 2250)
Emmi / Lyrel, Level 2 Necromancer: 2891 (Level up at 4500)
--- Schmidt, Level 0 Human

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