Friday 10 June 2016

Session 94 - Guts and Goblins

An important thing -
Last session we got up to a mighty TEN PEOPLE which was sort of ok, but makes it hard for everyone to get a chance to do things.
And so I hereby instate a soft cap on numbers - we won't take any new players on board for a while. Congrats to those people who showed up in the last few weeks! You're in!
Splitting things into two teams helped I think, we'll do that next time if it happens again.

Also if you die in the game you can't play any more.

(Just kidding)

We were also talking about changing venue. We've got a big bench of regulars and we do take up a lot of space, so that would give someone else (god willing) a place to run a game of their own.
Aaaand probably cheaper food and drink.
Next week we'll be in the Mad Hatter as usual (and likely will be for a little while yet) but I'll supply more news as it happens.
Venue recommendations appreciated!


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Session 94 - Guts and Goblins

Campaign Date:
Saturday, 6 January, 1550
Moon Phase: Waning Gibbous
Zodiac: Sagittarius

New Characters:- Bamuk, bulky female Muscle Wizard who used to live on an island and make bows.

Enemies Defeated:
- A golden women, wrestled into submission (100 exp)
- 3 huge fleas, stabbed to bits (150 exp)
- 1 big ol' spider, blasted (50 exp)
- 2 lumpy grey cancer goblins, killed or forced to flee (50 exp) 
Total: 350 exp

Treasure and Equipment:

- A wax-sealed pouch that would be found to contain a bunch of gold and a lot of silver, were it opened (12879 exp)
Total: 12879 exp

Exploration:

- 5 dungeon areas explored (100 exp)
- First party to enter the second level of Kaldva Djinn, the Slaughtergrid (100 exp)
- 2 Wandering Monsters encountered (100 exp)
Total: 200 exp

Events:

- The party, somewhat bolstered by new arrivals from the self-closing entrance, are talking to the tall draugar guy. He lets them go as long as they can find something for him to torture. (50 exp)
- They back out and attempt another door via hook pole. Good thing too, since it had a meaty poison needle in it. (50 exp)
- Before they can really look inside, a voice saying "GOLD" faster and faster approaches from the rear. It's a golden skinned woman with a real big mouth., and I don't mean she's talkative. (50 exp)
- She eats a coin thrown at her feet, then attacks. Stabbington discovers his christmas ice sword is now tinsel and leads an attempt to wrestle her into submission. The group gets a rope around her. Hurrah! (50 exp)
- The woman is brought to the draugar guy who seems shit scared of her. She's chucked into the fire but disappears into the ground like it's not even there.
After some banter the draugar agrees to follow the party to find torture victims. (50 exp)
- Rat LeBlanc gets a rat friend (the first of many) to scout out the nearby corridors. He says he likes one direction and doesn't reappear from the other. Easy choice. (50 exp)
- Stabbington, leading the party, comes across a pile of dead mushroom people and is leapt upon by a big fucking flea. He kills it easy. (50 exp)
- Rat LeBlanc climbs the pile to scout ahead and is beset by more giant fleas. He scrambles up the wall to escape them. (50 exp)
- The tight corridor and big pile of mushrooms make saving the poor ratman a bit difficult, but Jumurak ascends via MUSCLE and Stabbington gamely trudges forward through the shroom pile. (50 exp)
- Calen climbs rapidly and attempts a SUPER ULTIMATE JUMP ATTACK, fumbles badly, and nearly decapitates himself with his swords. Good ol' fumble table. (50 exp)
- The fleas are finished off, but not before LeBlanc's leg is significantly drained of blood. With a little healing he begins limping gamely onwards. (50 exp)
- Oh yea and Stabbington somehow manages to ACTUALLY SUCCESSFULLY FIRST AID SOMEONE. He stems Calen's bleeding. Like, actually. (50 exp)
- The party spread out in the next area. Calen, pole in hand, approaches the nearby metal door and begins turning the big submarine-style locking wheel. (50 exp)
- He sees the spider above him just in time to unsheathe his swords, but dies frothing from the mouth as it sinks its fangs deep into his face. (50 exp)
- The spider is finished off by Eleyn's dual pistols, 
damaged as it is from a previous encounter. The first time Eleyn's pistols have actually worked! (50 exp)
- In the excitement Charmington and that draugar guy have gone off somewhere. Nobody notices. (50 exp)
- The door opens to reveal a dusty room. Stairs spiral downwards, although muddy tracks are left in the dust coming up. (50 exp)
- Movement across the room! The party splits up. Cool fireteam names are abandoned in favour of Team Charizard and Team Blastoise. (50 exp)
- Team Charizard follows the movement, seeing whatever's in the dark scurrying backwards. They find it scared and pressed against another door, a badly dressed goblin called Mivik. (50 exp)
- Questioned under duress by Bamuk, he reveals he's come up here to escape his people and furnishes some dungeon info. The team keep him as a mascot, saying they'll protect him. (50 exp)
- Somewhere else, a naked Halfling falls out of a fleshy mass. He goes insane almost immediately. (50 exp)
- Meanwhile Team Blastoise have descended the stairs and climbed down handholds that lead into a big wrinkly cave. Eleyn vanishes into the shadows while Rat LeBlanc is assailed by arrows, taking heavy damage. Again. (50 exp)
- Team Charizard rush in two by two. The assailants, big cancerous looking grey goblins, can be seen hidden on top of a rubble barrier. (50 exp)
- Cranky Jim is nailed in the arm by an arrow, fracturing the bone. The bow of one goblin breaks to the other's amusement. (50 exp)
- Zan lands in the muck and spins slices of chocolate orange sideways directly into LeBlanc and Jim's mouths, making them feel much less hurt. This game, man. (50 exp)
- Bamuk hulks out with a huge jump over the rubble pile, punching Message into one of their faces and making a sick one-liner echo around its mind. (50 exp)
- Others try climbing the rubble with various success. Rat LeBlanc scurries up like a motherfucker and legitimately bites the throat out of the guy who shot him earlier. Holy shit. (50 exp)
- Sophia shoots ghosts at the other, he's blasted off the rubble and flees. Eleyn jumps from the top of the rubble pile to John Wu him before he gets round the corner, completely messing it up and tumbling down the rocks. (50 exp)
- With many in the party beaten up, and with no discernable way out, Zan leads everyone back towards the mushrooms stacked in the corridor above. (50 exp)
- In hollowing out a little camping space of debatable safety, a sealed pouch of coins is found. The party rest... for now (50 exp)
Total: 1500 exp

Misc:

- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)
- Aggressive Negotiations bonus (50 exp)
- Antagonist Appeaser bonus (50 exp)
- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)
- Breach and Clear bonus (50 exp)
- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- Diplomacy bonus (50 exp)
- Doolittle bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)
- I Immediately Regret This Decision bonus (50 exp)
- Ludicrous Gore bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- WWE bonus (50 exp)
- Art Attack bonus (Charles / Zan, Tom / Eleyn - 100 exp ea.)
- Cartographer bonus (100 exp - Bamuk)
- Death's Witness bonus (All who saw Calen's death - 100 exp ea.)
- Near Death Experience bonus (Cranky Jim, Rat LeBlanc - 100 exp ea.)

Total: 650 exp + bonuses
Rumours:
- None down here

Death Toll and Injuries:
- Calen, bitten in the face by a giant spider, died frothing from the mouth as the poison souped his innards.

[[]]

Exp Totals:
Dominic / Sir Stabbington Shanks, Level 6 Fighter: 60302 (Level up at 64000)
Kyle / Jain Doe, Level 5 Dwarf: 28255 (Level up at 35200)
Fraser / Jumarak, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 23933 (Level up at 32000)

Charles / Zan, Spermling of Zea, Level 4 Cleric: 13224 (Level up at 14000)
Tom / Eleyn, Level 4 Specialist (Assassin): 8709 (Level up at 12000)
Will / Calen, Level 2 Halfling: 2414 (Level up at 4000)
*DERANGED*
Kitty / Sophia, Level 2 Necromancer: 3206 (Level up at 4500)
*DING!* +1d4 HP! +1 level 1 spell/day! +1 free spell!
James / Rat LeBlanc, Level 2 Ratman: 3090 (Level up at 4000)
*DING!* +1d6 HP! +3 rat friends at a time!
Andy / Cranky Jim, Level 1 Dwarf: 1758 (Level up at 2200)
Clo / Bamuk, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 1758 (Level up at 2250)
Will / I forgot his name sorryyy, Level 2 Specialist: 1558 (Level up at 3000)
*DING!* +1d6 HP! +2 skill points!


Absent or Retired:
Stabbington Shanks' Retainer
-- Dr Charmington, Level 3 Specialist (Quack): 4821 (Level up at 6000)
Ollie / Lulu Spiderbite, Daughter of Lord Gorga, Level 6 Barbarian: 37308 (Level up at 64000)
Joe / Joe's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 321 (Level up at 2250)
Steve / Brand Earthhammer, Level 1 Fighter: 395 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver R / Reynard, Level 3 Specialist (Sneak Thief): 4077 (Level up at 6000)
Matteo / Lucifer, Level 1 Necromancer: 933 (Level up at 2250)

Ellie / Ellie's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 744 (Level up at 2250)
Jerry / Jerry's Next Character, Level 1 ???: 200 (Level up at ???)
Daniel / Nash, Level 1 Fighter: 455 (Level up at 2000)
Sarah / Mana, Level 4 Specialist (Thief): 13447 (Level up at 24000)
Jim / Jim's Fighter, Level 1 Fighter: 241 (Level up at 2000)
Louis / Louis' Next Character, Level 1 ???: 2062 (Level up at ???)
Oliver R / Osar, Level 2 Specialist (Dabbler): 661 (Level up at 3000)
Charlie / Le Chaz III, Level 1 Cleric: 670 (Level up at 1750)
David / Theras, Level 5 Specialist (Assassin): 13422 (Level up at 24000)
Mariana / Joe Joe, Level 5 Halfling: 28949 (Level up at 32000)
Dana / Bingo Augustus, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 19863 (Level up at 36000)
James / Quarion, Level 3 Elf (Gremling): 7947 (Level up at 12000)
Gary / Skirr Abderian, Level 1 Specialist (Thief): 416 (Level up at 1500)
Mariana / Aurora, Level 3 Cleric: 4018 (Level up at 7000)
Wai / Mogwi Stitch-Up, Level 2 Specialist: 2715 (Level up at 3000)
Sam / Lucados Orbrus, Level 2 Fighter: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Clay / Carthas, Level 1 Fighter: 371 (Level up at 2000)
John / West, Level 1 Cleric: 521 (Level up at 1750)
Hayley / Bob, Level 2 Dwarf: 2999 (Level up at 4400)
Niall / Roht, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 722 (Level up at 2250)
??? / Unnamed Cleric of the Garden God, Level 1 Cleric: 0 (Level up at 1750)
Florent / Sir Arthur, Level 1 Fighter: 186 (Level up at 2000)
Jamie / Alden, Level 1 Magic-User: 186 (Level up at 2250)
Ben / Thant, Level 1 Cleric: 186 (Level up at 1750)
Mike / Arran Folynn, Level 1 Specialist (Rogue): 186 (Level up at 1500)
Alex / Arhnin, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1518 (Level up at 3000)
Daniel / Davrak, Level 1 Magic User: 976 (Level up at 2250)
Nuno / Temperion, Level 1 Magic User: 742 (Level up at 2250)
Leo / Leo, Level 4 Cleric: 11102 (Level up at 14000)
Liisa / Peggy Pigrider, Level 5 Dwarf: 19420 (Level up at 35200)
-- Mr Pig, Level 1 Porcine.
Aron / Alphonse the Gentleman Barbarian, Level 1 Barbarian: 1184 (Level up at 2000)
Nimrod / U, Level 2 Specialist (Monk): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
Renzo / (Renzo's next character), Level 2 ???: 3462 (Level up at ???)
Clay / Svalborg, Level 2 Goblin: 2204 (Level up at 4000)
-- Tzani Spillios, Level 0 Scholar
Thomas / Tobias, Level 2 Cleric: 2204 (Level up at 3500)
Josh / Larry, Level 1 Elf (Galumfy Dotard): 383 (Level up at 3000)
Davide / Golden Junk, Level 1 Elf (Misergeist): 1971 (Level up at 3000)
Pedro / Dexter, Level 1 Necromancer: 1460 (Level up at 2250)
Mark / Marley, Level 2 Specialist: 2850 (Level up at 3000)
Rita / Arwen, Level 1 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 643 (Level up at 3000)
Sophia / Ceres, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1487 (Level up at 3000)
Alex / Tick, Level 1 Goblin: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver / Pip, Level 1 Halfling: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Ej / Matilda, Level 2 Specialist: 1839 (Level up at 3000)
Sev / Brad the Stabbinator, Level 1 Fighter: 1871 (Level up at 2000)
Harry / Reg, Level 1 Dwarf: 150 (Level up at 2200)
Mike / Lootle Halfstack, Level 1 Specialist: 715 (Level up at 1500)
Aaron / Maura, Level 1 Halfling: 1637 (Level up at 2000)
Matt / Sheik, Level 1 Barbarian: 767 (Level up at 2000)
Shaun / Nagash, Level 1 Necromancer: 817 (Level up at 2250)
rhhjdghjdshgjbleeeh / Elric, Level 1 Cleric: 817 (Level up at 1750)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 12881 (Level up at 18000)
Pawel / Devein, Level 1 Dwarf: 1160 (Level up at 2200)
Marco / Sauron, Level 1 Necromancer: 1530 (Level up at 2250)
Tom / NWA Chuck Langley, Level 1 Cleric: 951 (Level up at 1750)
Ros / Rhea, Level 1 Elf (Capriped): 850 (Level up at 3000)
John / Level 1 Magic-User: 1500 (Level up at 2000)
Chris / Crocell, Level 4 Halfling: 12318 (Level up at 16000)
-- Belial, Level 1 Fighter: 1047 (Level up at 2000)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 9129 (Level up at 18000)
Renzo / Gastani, Level 2 Barbarian: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Chris2 / Gadling, Level 3 Specialist (Assassin): 4738 (Level up at 6000)
Joanna / Artemis, Level 2 Specialist (Healer): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
George / Magnus, Level 1 Cleric: 1342 (Level up at 1750)
Lisa / Bella, Level 1 Magic User: 1951 (Level up at 2250)
Jacob / Wizard Khalifa, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 430 (Level up at 2250)
Marius' Totally-Not-Necromancer, Level 3 Necromancer: 5111 (Level up at 9000)
Nadav / Frog, Level 1 Fighter: 732 (Level up at 2000)
Charlie / Losh, Level 1 Elf (Habberjock): 309 (Level up at 3000)
Jack / Uldric, Level 1 Magic User: 409 (Level up at 2250)
Kate / Khaleesi, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 37 (Level up at 2250)
Emmi / Lyrel, Level 2 Necromancer: 2891 (Level up at 4500)
--- Schmidt, Level 0 Human

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