Monday, 12 February 2018

Session 167 - The Azoth Spring is Sprung

One last delve into the doomed depths of the first floor of Dwimmermount... and they find the Azoth spring! Hurrah!

Also the party is now helping the spiders against the angels in a big plot twist. I guess we'll see how that works out!

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Charles has also made a miniature for Galaxy Johnson which is pretty rad but, as we know, marks him for DEATH.
Good luck Galaxy.


Session 167 - The Azoth Spring is Sprung
Campaign Date:
Wednesday, 25 January, 1601
Moon Phase: Waxing Gibbous
Zodiac: Capricorn

New Backstory:
- POWERLAD went on a trip to the beach when he was young. While he was distracted building his Sandcastle of Solitude a big wave came and washed him out to sea! Luckily the experience made him enjoy the water. (+1 Sailing)
- Mori was in a gang of street urchins... but he was betrayed by a fellow urchin he loved enough to call brother. Mori was pushed into a hole so his "brother" could escape with riches. (If you fall, you can make a Climb check to grab onto the edge or convenient handhold part way down instead)
- Synthia awoke in the fast-flowing river Lethe and felt it washing her barely-formed body through the smooth black stones at the bottom of the river. She reveled in it. (+1 Sailing)

Enemies Defeated:
- 3 demon spiders (150 exp)
- 2 glowing beetles (20 exp)
Total: 170 exp

Treasure and Equipment:
- A gallon of azoth (22730 exp)
- A holy fingerbone relic (500 exp)
Total: 23230 exp

Exploration:
- Explored 8 dungeons areas (160 exp)
- Encountered 1 group of wandering monsters (50 exp)
Total: 210 exp

Events:
- Mori opens his retroreflective eyes, seeing POWERLAD looking down the mountain at the fall of Muntberg. The boss angel still spins and sings at the entrance to the dungeon beneath, but it's lost track of the pair. (50 exp)
- On the other side of the mountain, Sir Robyn, Synthia, Randy and Gav lick their wounds and decide what to do next while building a makeshift shelter on the mountainside. (50 exp)
- Quietly and carefully, Mori and POWERLAD make their way back around the mountainside and meet up with the rest of the party. POWERLAD is pretty good at the ol' Bushcraft so helps fix the shelter to keep a bit more of the rain out. (50 exp)
- During the night, Mori disappears off to gallivant and yammer in the moonlight. Synthia catches glimpses of him on the mountainside... and also notices some mysterious malformed footprints nearby the camp. (50 exp)
- No matter, the night passes without incident. Sir Robyn, Mori, and POWERLAD compare spellbooks over breakfast so that they can borrow those good good spells. (50 exp)
- With trepidation, it is decided to have one last push into Dwimmermount to hopefully find the azoth spring his time. (50 exp)
- They head back to the Dwarf door, which duly shimmers into existence as Randy approaches. No spiders greet their descent down the short stairs into Dwimmermount. (50 exp)
- Lights are shuttered as they pass the screaming mushroom room and they reach the moon pool. There are the crumbling corpses of Inclusions in here, mostly surrounding a smashed Angel. (50 exp)
- Sir Robyn does some back-of-the-envelope calculations that predict the Angels and Inclusions should have wiped each other out by now, given the number of angels that entered and the assumed regeneration rate of the Inclusion population. That'd be nice! (50 exp)
- The gang fill up on moon water. Mori feels the moon's light filling him and he mutates further, gaining the ability to shut off light sources around him. Neat! (50 exp)
- The next room is where the barricade was previously... but the barricades have collapsed. Clearly god beams did this. Also in this room - Many dead Inclusions, a few dead spiders, and two destroyed angels. (50 exp)
- Synthia likes the look of the Angels central eyes and gets POWERLAD to help her jimmy one off. It's a bit like a camera shutter that irises open and closed. Synthia reckons it'll make an ok shield. (50 exp)
- They continue, faintly hearing angelic singing from somewhere deeper in. The next room has stacks of barrels, steel ingots, and a strange forge. (50 exp)
- Gav says this is where they were making Azoth coins, and Sir Robyn realises that the fact a forge exists means that the air in here isn't quite as flammable as he'd thought. Looks like guns are back on the menu, boys! (50 exp)
- He also says that the market for Azoth coins must have collapsed with the fall of Muntberg. Gav falls to his knees with a cry of despair, and as the echoes fade Sir Robyn can identify the angelic choir as singing combat protocols. (50 exp)
- Synthia recommends stacking the barrels full of oil around the entrance to the next area in case the party needs to cover their exit when they inevitably have to run away from something. (50 exp)
- Hissing spider noises can be heard, panicking to each other and fearful of the angels. Sir Robyn calls out to them saying that he is an emissary of the BEES! (50 exp)
- To my dismay the spiders definitely believe him, and tell him the angels are attacking the lair of their queen! Sir Robyn promises them aid, and leads them to the exit above the moon pool. (50 exp)
- As they crawl out onto the mountainside, Sir Robyn sings out in Angelic Binary that there are enemies to be destroyed here! Thankfully there is no response. (50 exp)
- He cheeses it back to the main party and they continue on past the flammable barrel trap. The next room contains shoddily made Dwarf statues, which both Gav and Randy recognise as unborn Dwarfs. Randy is horrified. (50 exp)
- The singing can be heard from a further passage, which Gav says is the direction of the azoth spring. Mori volunteers to go ahead, so Sir Robyn cantrips Invisibility and Mirror Image into a minor Zone of Inattention to make Mori less noticeable. (50 exp)
- Mori investigates with his heat vision, seeing a cool pool of some liquid, some Inclusion corpses, and racks of glass vials. (50 exp)
- Mori tells everyone its safe, and they bring in lights to show a wide but shallow pool of Azoth trickling from a breach in the wall! (50 exp)
- Synthia dips her finger in and eats some... it's AMAZING! Her mind throbs at the edges, her eyes wide as the delicious nectar sizzles on her tongue. She fills several vials for later. (50 exp)
- Mori also sips his finger in... but quickly pulls it out as it sizzles against his skin! The finger he withdraws is an unfurred human finger, but fuzzy fur quickly covers it back up as it turns back into his moon-boosted Elf form. (50 exp)
- Sir Robyn flat-out refuses to chuck a raccoon in, despite wheedling from the rest of the party. (50 exp)
- POWERLAD dips in a crossbow bolt and the substance goops around the head of the arrow like this. He dips a few of them and wraps them carefully. (50 exp)
- It turns out that the pump nearby pumps Azoth out of the pool, up through a hose, and into a small water-cooler-style bulb. Pumping ensues, and when the whole pool has been sucked up the party just twist the bulb off and stack it near the oil barrels. (50 exp)
- The angelic battle protocols and hissing of spiders are fairly close, along with the yelling of small Inclusion voices. Maybe later. Some glowing down a passage attracts the party's attention instead. (50 exp)
- At the end of the passage, some glowing beetles. Less scarab-like than the Barrowmaze ones, but on a similar glowing theme. Synthia and Mori kill them without much trouble. (50 exp)
- The rest of the party stand around a little squicked out as Synthia devours one and assimilates its glowing internal light organs. She glows faintly, and paired with the passive Inclusion vision she's got permanent darksight! (50 exp)
- Sir Robyn's raccoons start eating up the beetle's eggs in their alcove, and behind the eggs they find a fingerbone surrounded with fine gold mesh. (50 exp)

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- The other non-angel-singing room is checked out. Inside is a shrine to a nonanist goddess - the Lady. Her hands are full of gold coins. (50 exp)
- POWERLAD flips in a gold coin and gains the blessing of the Lady - +2 to saves for the next 24 hours. Sir Robyn prays and receives a similar but more short-lived blessing. (50 exp)
- Past the azoth pool and towards the sounds of battle seems to be the only way forward. Flame flickers ahead. Mori scouts it out. (50 exp)
- He sees some caretaker robot things heading out through a nearby door, so motions the others to follow. (50 exp)
- Beyond the door is a room with murals depicting humanoid figures worshipping a big orb and killing dwarfs or possibly Inclusions. (50 exp)
- A historical debate about the average height of a human being over the centuries takes so long that the sound of angel-on-spider combat has faded away. (50 exp)
- Might as well check it out then. In the wake of the battle, two dead angels and a few dead spiders lie amongst many dead inclusions. It was a bloodbath. (50 exp)
- Familiar sounds of battle are ahead, but there's a new voice mixed in amongst the rest! A woman's voice yelling for help! (50 exp)
- Cautiously the party looks into the room. It's down to two of the higher-tier angels with the wing beams vs a ragtag group of clearly hurt inclusions wielding slings. (50 exp)
- The woman's voice is coming from a disturbingly feminine spider creature, cherry-red lips glistening behind furry mandibles, each legs like a human leg ending in a graceful hand, all covered in shiny black carapace. (50 exp)
- She begs for help, promising untold riches and (gasp!) immunity to poison! POWERLAD is sold, and punches in with a Web spell... but it unravels as it hits the angels. (50 exp)
- Unperturbed, he slides in with his hammers, denting the shell of one of the angels. Mori is close behind, jamming a knife into its leg joints (50 exp)
- Sir Robyn lobs a vial of azoth intending to shoot it mid-air and shower the angels with fire, but he misses dramatically! It shatters over Mori and sets him on fire! (50 exp)
- Luckily the angel he's shanking is burnt by the close proximity of the flame. Mori screams as he keeps shanking it! (50 exp)
- The unengaged angel turns from sniping down Inclusions and takes aim at Synthia, the stasis beam grazes her as she dodges out of the way! (50 exp)
- It is late. TO BE CONTINUED. (50 exp)
Total: 2500 exp

Misc:
- Best of Intentions bonus (50 exp)
- Diplomancy bonus (50 exp)
- Doolittle bonus (50 exp)
- Long Deliberation bonus (50 exp)
- Noblebright bonus (50 exp)
- Monster Infighting bonus (50 exp)
- Mountaineer bonus (50 exp)
- Operator as Fuck bonus (50 exp)
- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)
- WWE bonus bonus (50 exp)
Total: 500 exp

Party Roles and Individual Exp:
- Remembrancer (Kitty / POWERLAD - 100 exp)
- Caller (Timothy / Sir Robyn - 100 exp)
- Mapper (Fraser / Mori - 100 exp)
- Treasurer (Fraser / Mori - 100 exp)
- Quartermaster (Ollie / Synthia - 100 exp)
- Guard (Kitty / POWERLAD - 100 exp)
- Tracker (Timothy / Sir Robyn - 100 exp)
- Art Attack bonus (Kitty - 100 exp)
- Chippo Elf bonus (Fraser - 200 exp)
- JÜGBRINGYR bonus (Kitty, Timothy, Fraser, Ollie - 500 exp ea.)

Active Businesses:
- Honey Healing. Safe. 1095sp. (Bertha)
- Knickers Gloves Bodices. Risky. 1030sp. (Ratimir)
- Blood Honey 4 U. Safe. 505sp. (Sir Robyn)

Rumours:
- -

Death Toll and Injuries:
- None... yet.

Exp Totals:
- Kitty / POWERLAD!, Level 7 Muscle Wizard: 78526 (Level up at 144000)-- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 3 (-15% exp)
- Timothy / Sir Robyn, Level 4 Magic-User: 13736 (Level up at 18000)*DING!* +1d4 HP! +1 level 2 spell/day! +free spell! +backstory!
--- Randy, Level 3 Hench-Dwarf: 7766 (Level up at 8800)--- Gav, Level 0 Inclusion
- Ollie / Synthia, Level 4 Inheritor: 13874 (Level up at 18000)*DING!* +1d6 HP! +1 Mutation Capacity! +2 Meat! +backstory!
- Fraser / Mori, Level 4 Elf (Worriganger): 13604 (Level up at 24000)
*DING!* +1d6 HP! +1 level 2 spell/day! +free spell! +saves! +backstory!

Absent or Retired:
- Charles / Galaxy Johnson, Level 5 Elf (Alpdrucke): 28680 (Level up at 48000)
-- Devotee of Ereshkigal, Bond 2 (-10% exp)
- James / Ratimir, 
Level 5 Ratman: 20944 (Level up at 24000)
- Tom / Clarence Eclair, Level 3 Specialist: 3040 (Level up at 6000)
- Tom / Aces Fontaine, Level 1 Specialist: 869 (Level up at 1500)
- Kitty / Bertha, Level 4 Necromancer: 9931 (Level up at 18000)
- Imran / Friar, Level 1 Magic User: 1040 (Level up at 2250)
- Andy / Carrie Meleste, Level 5 Cleric: 25557 (Level up at 28000)
- Yuri / Bjorn Gunnerson, Level 2 Barbarian: 2278 (Level up at 4000)
- Sunni / Larry's Legends, Level 1 Extras: 758 (Level up at 1500)
- Fraser / Tippin, Level 1 Ratman: 1458 (Level up at 1500)
- Charles / Zena, Level 6 Fighter: 41566 (Level up at 64000)
- Tom / Meteor Power Shower, Level 2 Barbarian: 3061 (Level up at 4000)
- Nix's Retainer
--- Huz, Level 0 Hireling
- Tom / Spicy Mac, Level 2 Halfling: 3457 (Level up at 4000)
- Eleanor / Mugg, Level 2 Fighter: 2357 (Level up at 4000)
- Kyle / Gimlass the Brave, Level 2 Dwarf: 2257 (Level up at 4400)
- Amar / Amar's Cleric, Level 1 Cleric: 1413 (Level up at 1750)
- Henry / Henry's Next Character: +2084 exp
- Ollie / Tremendo Picante, Level 2 Ratman: 2654 (Level up at 3000)
- James / Raaf van Held, Level 4 Fighter: 14838 (Level up at 16000)
- Eglė / Bob, Level 1 Dwarf: 434 (Level up at 2200)
- Will / Cecil Fulbright, Level 5 Cleric (Termaxian): 15063 (Level up at 28000)


- James / William Fox-Shitt, Level 3 Cleric (Zeanist): 4571 (Level up at 7000)

Monday, 5 February 2018

Session 166 - Fallen Angels

Shit's getting biblical out there! The seventh seal has been broken and now angels fall from the sky to destroy demons and sinners.

It's a real pity that every single person in the party is tainted by Chaos. Such is life when you are living in the glory of sin.


Session 166 - Fallen Angels
Campaign Date:
Thursday, 19 January, 1601
Moon Phase: Waxing Crescent
Zodiac: Capricorn

New Characters:
- Mori, a bright-eyed Elven cutpurse who followed the party for reasons known only to him.
- Cynthia, a newly formed demonic Inheritor who made her way to Muntberg following scattered fragments of memory.
New Backstory:
- Sir Robyn's mother lay dying of terminal hypochondria, so he travelled to the city to find a dark and arcane cure. Instead he got caught up in the thrills of the legal system. His mother's fate is unknown. (+1 Arcana)

Enemies Defeated:
- 14 dwarf cancers (70 exp)
Total: 70 exp

Treasure and Equipment:
Total: 0 exp

Exploration:
- 4 dungeon rooms explored (80 exp)
- 1  wandering monsters rolled (50 exp)
- 1 secret door found (50 exp)
- Alternate entrance to Dwimmermount found (100 exp)
Total: 280 exp

Events:
- Depressed and saddened by the recent deaths of Andromeda and Nix, the party begin organising a double funeral for the two heroes. Like a double wedding but more depressing, remarks POWERLAD. (50 exp)
- Chainmail is purchased for Randy and a custom spiked tower shield is constructed. It's not much of a weapon, but it'll certainly help Randy "Pain Train" Cobblestone earn his new nickname! (50 exp)
- Still dripping with mud and viscera, an unknown demonic entity slumps its way into Muntberg. Andromeda's corpse calls to it. (50 exp)
- Fascinated by the party, a skulking cutpurse with long elven ears watches the funeral arrangements with ferocious intent. (50 exp)
- The funerals begin. Overhead, as the day draws on, the floating silver orbs begin to open. Crowds in Muntberg gape as six flat curving surfaces like petals, or wings, peel and unfurl from their lower hemispheres. Using a spyglass, POWERLAD sees an enormous central eye glaring downwards. (50 exp)
- POWERLAD and Sir Robyn are forced to leave the funeral to get a closer look, POWERLAD leaping into the air with Sir Robyn and his raccoons on his back with that sweet zoom effect they did a lot in BSG. (50 exp)

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- As they approach, the wings unfurl completely, and those below can see that they're completely covered in eyes. POWERLAD is close enough to see that the eyes are row upon row of those strange spherical angels. (50 exp)
- A chorus of angelic voices greets them as they get closer, supplemented by deeper singing voices harmonising with the choir. Sir Robyn, ultra-linguist, has somehow heard this before - it's Angelic Binary. The singing is how they exchange information with each other. (50 exp)
- Luckily for the pair of them, POWERLAD has quite the fine singing voice. Sir Robyn translates into musical notation for POWERLAD to sing HELLO WORLD to them. (50 exp)
- The music changes locally, and a single flying sphere unit approaches cautiously. A series of queries and statements are untangled, it seems the angels are here to stop the tentacle and maintain structural integrity of the world. (50 exp)
- A deep bass voice sings "Drop in Tee Minus 10... 9... 8" and POWERLAD flies to a safe distance... but at that very moment his Fly spell runs out of juice. The men and raccoons plummet towards the earth at terminal velocity. (50 exp)
- They see a group of maybe twenty angels drop off their deployment rails in sequence and plummet behind them, but the angels deploy wings to direct their fall and the spheres peel off towards the base of Dwimmermount. (50 exp)

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- Down in Muntberg the funeral has finished up, Randy and Galaxy Johnson holding sole vigil. They see the angels start to fall from unfurled spheres across the land. They also see figures falling and run to the gates in time to see POWERLAD land in a burst of energy, closely followed by a traumatised Sir Robin and his raccoons. (50 exp)
- In the graveyard, a mud-and-flesh figure digs up Andromeda's grave. Slowly and surely its mouth distends like a snake, and it gulps Andromeda's whole corpse into its broad gullet. (50 exp)
- Demons and sinners are peering over the walls towards the angel landing sight. The demons are panicking. The party of Sir Robyn, POWERLAD, Randy and Galaxy Johnson head out to check them out. The demons yell at them to be careful. (50 exp)
- They head out of the gate and along the path, approaching the robotic angels. Shadowing them through the woods is a figure with the shape of Andromeda. When they leave the horse behind, the figure coaxes it into the woods with Andromeda's voice. (50 exp)
- The group approach the angel landing site. There are sixteen spherical angels in a circle, four where their lower hemisphere has opened out into four legs, and one central angel whose entire spherical shape has deconstructed into numerous whirling pieces. (50 exp)
- One of the spherical angels rolls up and runs some queries. Sir Robyn replies to the best of his ability, but when its central eye opens up and bathes the party in glowing golden light everyone but Randy becomes outlined in a black aura. (50 exp)
- The party realise that most of them are tainted by Chaos and see the angels begin to roll towards them! Time to book it! Randy holds the line, allowing the others to get away safely because they are REAL FAST especially the cowardly Galaxy Johnson. (50 exp)
- They skid back in through the gates, desperate demons closing it swiftly behind them. Their relief at seeing the pursuing angels turn back around is tempered when another cluster of angels is spotted dropping to the south of the city. (50 exp)
- Figuring that Dwimmermount's got to be safer than Muntberg under current circumstances, the group head up to the pit down to the moon door. Angels are rolling up the main path, so they take a back way they saw from the air last time. (50 exp)
- As they go up, Andromeda appears! It is Cynthia wearing Andromeda's form. POWERLAD is freaked the fuck out, questioning her as to whether she's a paradox clone from the gravity dragon. "Andromeda" professes to have few memories, she is only 3 days old. (50 exp)
- POWERLAD stays well away. Soon they reach the pit to the moon pool and Galaxy Johnson shadow-steps down the hole to check the place out. He accidentally pulls Mori out of hiding, the strange little Elf man having followed them to steal treasure or some such. He agrees to join the party. (50 exp)
- Galaxy Johnson explores down the hole, perceiving strange skeletal figures with his moon-wrought aura of threads. The figures scan the walls and ceilings with red laser beams. The scans pass over Galaxy Johnson with no effect or response from the beings. (50 exp)
- The rest of the party join Galaxy Johnson in the cavern by climbing down a rope he left behind then jumping into the silvery water of the moon pool. The casters make sure to drink a bunch of it to buff themselves as they go. (50 exp)
- With lights on, it's obvious that these creatures are some sort of machine created from hissing brass machinery and shimmering black bone. They scan the blackened cavern with beams projected from a device over one eye and presumably feed the info to someone somewhere. (50 exp)

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(I was picturing more a Terminator skeleton but sure)

- Gav explains that these are caretakers and they usually ignore you if they're left to their own devices. He also admits that the azoth "mining" that's been taking place has truly just been harvesting azoth from a spring a little way to the south. They've been lying to the demons and hoping to find a way to the azoth reservoirs deeper below. (50 exp)
- He points the way south to where the azoth spring is, and the party head on through a room full of the remains of creatures drained by spiders. (50 exp)
- Galaxy Johnson, crawling on the ceiling like a creepy crawly, hears little dwarf cancer voices from ahead. They enter a smaller cavern with barricades and lots of the little guys guarding the way through with spears. (50 exp)

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- Randy can't fucking stand it any more!! They are abominations to be PURGED!!! He charges forward, ramming POWERLAD out of the way, and ramming straight into the lead one! The little guy dies, spiked on his shield, as he charges through. (50 exp)
- He reaches the corridor out and turns, but before he can get the massive shield back up he's stabbed in the back with a spear! It's a real big hit, but Randy can take it. (50 exp)
- POWERLAD hits the wall, pushes off, and used the momentum to slide into on of the clay dwarfs with a Web Punch. Aiming not to hurt, the hit still makes web splurt out of the dwarf's every orifice and cover the whole back wall with sticky strands. Even Randy is caught in it. (50 exp)
- The little dwarf guys are questioned. Apparently they've defected in the hopes that the spiders will protect them from the invading Angels. Sir Robyn tries to get them to pass Randy a ration, but one of them sticks it up its bum first. Very polite. (50 exp)
- The party deliberate, but the little dwarf guys start yelling for their spider allies to help them! Randy hears the scuttling sounds first and starts really freaking out as his abandonment complex kicks in. "HELP! HELP! OH GOD I CAN HEAR THEM!!" (50 exp)
- Sir Robyn tries to delay the spiders by yelling out in their language while Galaxy Johnson rescues Randy by pulling him through a shadow and out of there. The whole party fexit pursued by spiders. (50 exp)
- They keep running! The unmistakable choral voices of angels can be heard, so they avoid that direction and keep going! There are two ways to go, one of which is a dead end full of fungus. The light sets off some very very loud shrieking fungus, and the spiders can be heard scuttling to catch up again. (50 exp)
- Fuck fuck fuck! The party skid down a slope, run across the room, and up some stone stairs on the other side. The dead end of a rock wall morphs into a metal door as they approach! As soon as they're out, POWERLAD punches the door with Hold Portal and the door snicks shut. (50 exp)
- Taking their bearings, they're on the mountainside. Probably the opposite side to the red doors and Muntberg. Banging sounds against the door stop as Gav and Randy get far enough from the door to have it morph back into solid stone. The door's location is marked with a chalk X. (50 exp)

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- There's still a dead clay dwarf on the front of Randy's shield, and Cynthia wastes no time peeling it off and devouring it. She steals its night vision... and gets the briefest taste of its memories. (50 exp)
- Randy turns on Gav and starts throttling him! POWERLAD tries to break them up, but is forced to Sleep Slap the guy into unconsciousness. Knowing he'll be blinded by the sun if he ever sleeps above ground, they bury his body and lay a cairn over his sleeping head. (50 exp)
- Galaxy Johnson climbs around the side of the mountain, Professor Scamps on his shoulder, to check out the condition of Muntberg and the front entrance. The spinning split-sphere angel is here, singing in a deep bass voice. Prof. Scamps can tell it's pinging the angels inside for status updates. (50 exp)
- With Galaxy's help, the rest of the party sneak up and around to a hiding place where they can see the angel spinning. Mori decides to climb down and around, coming up the pathway towards the red door. (50 exp)
- The angel detects his approach and scans him with that golden light. He is outlined in black, and the angel's wings reformat and point in his direction! Two coruscating beams lance out towards him, freezing anything they hit in a bubble of frozen time! (50 exp)
- He avoids the first two hits, but is too slow to avoid the second volley. He leaps to the side, feels a strange tearing feeling, and looks back to see his arm floating on its own in a quickly evaporating bubble of stopped time! (50 exp)
- He lands with a painful thump and rolls, blood oozing from the grievous wound, into cover behind a tree (50 exp)

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- POWERLAD springs into action, summoning lightning into his fist for a trademark Magic Missile Punch!!! He falls, trailing energy, straight for the Angel! (50 exp)
- His fist contacts the spinning shell of the angel... and the spell fizzles out. POWERLAD lands hard on the ground under the swirling fragments of metal. The angel is still concentrating on where it last saw Mori, but it starts to turn to scan for the closer threat. (50 exp)
- Up on the mountainside behind the covering boulder, Galaxy Johnson tries to hit it with a Dispel Magic to no avail. Sir Robyn casts Invisibility, attracting the attention of the machine, and it swivels its guns towards the mountainside. (50 exp)
- POWERLAD takes the opportunity to roll underneath it and out into cover. making his way towards the languishing Mori. The angel begins to track back towards him.(50 exp)
- Sir Robyn tries a last attempt to distract the robot and trails gunpowder from his powder horn behind him as he climbs back around the mountain, soon detonating it as a distraction. POWERLAD gets away safely. (50 exp)
- On the hillside below the angel, Mori clutches at the stump of his arm. He collapses, unconscious, moments before POWERLAD manages to get to his side. Just in time! (50 exp)
- POWERLAD drags him down the mountainside and away from the angel, which is recalling its host from within Dwimmermount to protect it. Now safely out of sight, POWERLAD takes a deep breath and tries to patch Mori up. To his relief, he manages to staunch the bleeding. (50 exp)
-  He looks down at Muntberg and sees it being destroyed. Demons collapse into mud at one hit from an angelic weapon, and men in white robes are killing every sinner they can find. It's madness. (50 exp)
- On the other side of the mountain, Sir Robyn and Galaxy Johnson are removing the cairn from a spluttering and cursing Randy. He promises not to try murdering Gav any more. At least Gav's not making any more dwarf cancers. (50 exp)
- And so, split up on opposite sides of a mountain peak, with angels falling from above and spiders crawling poisonously own below, our heroes rest up and try to work out how to salvage this mess. May God have mercy on their souls. (50 exp)
Total: 2800 exp

Misc:
- Aggressive Negotiations bonus (50 exp)
- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)
- Best of Intentions bonus (50 exp)
- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- Classic Charles 
bonus (50 exp)
- Diplomancy bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Chase bonus (50 exp)
- Henchman Abuse bonus (50 exp)
- Heresy bonus (50 exp)
- I Immediately Regret This Decision bonus (50 exp)
- Leave a Man Behind bonus (50 exp)
- Long Deliberation bonus (50 exp)
- Master of Disguise bonus (50 exp)
- Mountaineer bonus (50 exp)
- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- What Could Possibly Go Wrong bonus (50 exp)
Total: 850 exp

Party Roles and Individual Exp:
- Remembrancer (Charles / Galaxy Johnson - 100 exp)
- Caller (Timothy / Sir Robyn - 100 exp)
- Mapper (Fraser - 100 exp)
- Guard (Kitty / POWERLAD - 100 exp)
- Art Attack bonus (Charles - 100 exp)
- Artapalooza bonus (Charles - 100 exp)
- Chippo Man bonus (Timothy - 200 exp)
- JÜGBRINGYR bonus (Charles, Timothy, Ollie - 500 exp ea.)
- Delicious Admin bonus (All - 100 exp ea.)
--- Funerals for Andromeda and Nix
-- POWERLAD: 3000 exp
-- Cynthia: 2500 exp
-- Galaxy Johnson: 800 exp
-- Mori: 2930 exp
- Amputation bonus (Fraser / Mori - 100 exp)
- Near Death Experience bonus (Fraser / Mori - 100 exp)

Active Businesses:
Bone Alone. Liquidated
- Honey Healing. Safe. 1095sp. (Bertha)
- Knickers Gloves Bodices. Risky. 1030sp. (Ratimir)
- Blood Honey 4 U. Safe. 505sp. (Sir Robyn)

Rumours:
- -

Death Toll and Injuries:
- Mori's arm was sheared off by a stasis field fired by an angel, but he survives.

Exp Totals:
- Kitty / POWERLAD!, Level 7 Muscle Wizard: 72699 (Level up at 144000)
*DING!* +1d4 HP! +1 level 4 spell/day! +1 level 2 spell/day! +free spell! +backstory!
-- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 3 (-15% exp)
- Charles / Galaxy Johnson, Level 5 Elf (Alpdrucke): 28680 (Level up at 48000)
-- Devotee of Ereshkigal, Bond 2 (-10% exp)--- Gav, Level 0 Inclusion
- Timothy / Sir Robyn, Level 3 Magic-User: 7122 (Level up at 9000)
--- Randy, Level 3 Hench-Dwarf: 4809 (Level up at 8800)
- Ollie / Cynthia, Level 3 Inheritor: 7360 (Level up at 9000)*DING!* +1d6 HP! +1 Mutation Capacity! +2 Meat! +backstory!
*DING!* +1d6 HP! +1 Mutation Capacity! +2 Meat! +backstory!

- Fraser / Mori, Level 3 Elf (Worriganger): 6790 (Level up at 12000)
*DING!* +1d6 HP! +1 level 1 spell/day! +free spell! +backstory!
*DING!* +1d6 HP! +1 level 2 spell/day! +free spell! +backstory!

Absent or Retired:
- James / Ratimir, Level 5 Ratman: 20944 (Level up at 24000)
- Tom / Clarence Eclair, Level 3 Specialist: 3040 (Level up at 6000)
- Tom / Aces Fontaine, Level 1 Specialist: 869 (Level up at 1500)
- Kitty / Bertha, Level 4 Necromancer: 9931 (Level up at 18000)
- Imran / Friar, Level 1 Magic User: 1040 (Level up at 2250)
- Andy / Carrie Meleste, Level 5 Cleric: 25557 (Level up at 28000)
- Yuri / Bjorn Gunnerson, Level 2 Barbarian: 2278 (Level up at 4000)
- Sunni / Larry's Legends, Level 1 Extras: 758 (Level up at 1500)
- Fraser / Tippin, Level 1 Ratman: 1458 (Level up at 1500)
- Charles / Zena, Level 6 Fighter: 41566 (Level up at 64000)
- Tom / Meteor Power Shower, Level 2 Barbarian: 3061 (Level up at 4000)
- Nix's Retainer
--- Huz, Level 0 Hireling
- Tom / Spicy Mac, Level 2 Halfling: 3457 (Level up at 4000)
- Eleanor / Mugg, Level 2 Fighter: 2357 (Level up at 4000)
- Kyle / Gimlass the Brave, Level 2 Dwarf: 2257 (Level up at 4400)
- Amar / Amar's Cleric, Level 1 Cleric: 1413 (Level up at 1750)
- Henry / Henry's Next Character: +2084 exp
- Ollie / Tremendo Picante, Level 2 Ratman: 2654 (Level up at 3000)
- James / Raaf van Held, Level 4 Fighter: 14838 (Level up at 16000)
- Eglė / Bob, Level 1 Dwarf: 434 (Level up at 2200)
- Will / Cecil Fulbright, Level 5 Cleric (Termaxian): 15063 (Level up at 28000)
- James / William Fox-Shitt, Level 3 Cleric (Zeanist): 4571 (Level up at 7000)

Tuesday, 30 January 2018

Session 165 - Journey's End

Andromeda is dead.
Nix is dead.
Woe, woe, woe.
The poison of the demon spiders brings death.

It is with a heavy heart that I write this recap. May they rest long in our memory.

First, the tragic last letter written by Andromeda to POWERLAD:
To the boy I should have married.
I write this in Muntburg, on the eve of our ascent to the peak of dwimmermount.
I fear the morrow might be the last day that I see you, it is a feeling I cannot shake and if you are reading this, then I am no longer by your side. But do not cry for I am in the Great Hall with my mother and the great Gorgas of legend, hunting, drinking and honoured by the gods.
I woke up from a dream, tears down my cheeks and I cannot return to slumber. I cry because I dared to dream that we had a normal life, a simple life selling honey in Clunge. No demons. No tentacles . No undead. Just you me and a child with your eyes and unwavering bravery.
I feel it, deep inside me, that somewhere out there that my dream is a beautiful truth and that gives me a peace this life never could. I feel a love so strong, so pure, it transcends space, time and casts a blinding light over this dark and twisted mortal realm.
But here in this now I am pushing against the immovable rock of destiny.
I built a rebellion on the foundations of a broken heart, and it feels so hollow. I might be a Gorga, but my father was a wizard and he gave me a heart forged in love not fire like my aunt Lulu.
What did i achive after I rode out of Moondin broken hearted?
We were legends, above all others, misguided young fools, like gods at our best, demons at our worst. We changed the world, but I know in my heart that it will be you alone who saves it.
I will wait for you in the Great Hall and I will sing the loudest of your deeds when it is demanded by the gods for someone to speak of your worth to join us in perpetual glory.
The sun is rising it seems, I must prepare for the task ahead and embrace it like a Gorga.
I wish you had stayed with me tonight... 
Ollie crushes our emotions

Inline images 1
Ollie depicts a new hero rising beneath the black sun and heavenly silver spheres.

Inline images 2
- Charles shows us POWERLAD's wrenching guilt as Andromeda breathes her last.

Inline images 3
- I doodle a similar scene

Session 165 - Journey's End
Campaign Date:
Sunday, 14 January, 1601
Moon Phase: Waning Crescent
Zodiac: Sagittarius

New Backstory:
- Ratimir was too slow to save his bank-robbing comrades because he was massively hungover from a big night on vodkat. They all died, and he knew it was his fault. (Once per session, when someone is knocked down to 0HP, get to their side in a single round by some means.)

Enemies Defeated:
- 16 cyborg rats (160 exp)
- 2 giant spiders (100 exp)
Total: 260 exp

Treasure and Equipment:
- 6gp, 5sp (305 exp)
- 3 obols (30 exp)
- Specialists Tools
- Silver holy symbol (50 exp)
- A small quantity of True Water
Total: 385 exp

Exploration:
- 9 dungeon rooms explored (180 exp)
- 2 wandering monsters rolled (100 exp)
- Entered level 1 of Dwimmermount (100 exp)
- Alternate entrance to Dwimmermount found (100 exp)
Total: 480 exp

Events:
- Muntberg swarms with strangeness. Masked demons walk amongst enormous hissing spiders, tiny colourful people twitch and giggle under the eaves, and muddy misshapen figures stump around on thick oozing legs. (50 exp)
- Walking through this riot of sound and colour under the great shadow of Dwimmermount, the party decides to get supplies for their big trip to collect some Azoth to eventually refuel the Slaughtergrid. (50 exp)
- There are humans here too. Regular people living sinful lives to appease feed their dark masters. It is a good life, but they're very definitely going to hell. Galaxy Johnson buys some supplies off them, holy water and holy symbols which some people having been keeping just in case. (50 exp)
- They ask around about Dwimmermount. There's a big red door everyone knows about which acts as an entrance, and demons feel constant pain when they enter the holy mountain so most avoid it. (50 exp)
- They set off, and partway up the mountain they find a mysterious doorway in the rock by the side of the trail. It's got Ancient Dwarfish runes on it, which Sir Robyn the super-linguist of course knows. It's the "Alchemist's Door" and will only open on a triple alignment between Mars, Mercury and Venus. This is not due to happen for many years. (50 exp)

Inline images 4
- Many attempts are made to open the door to no avail. After many attempts, they head off to the Red Door. (50 exp)
- It's ajar. Inside, down a long staircase into darkness, is a room of headless statues with buckets balancing on the neck stumps. Ratimir sends a rat to investigate, it reports back that there's something oily in there. (50 exp)

Inline images 5

- Galaxy Johnson shoots a fire beam at a bucket to see what happens, and a little voice pipes up going "hey stop that!". A little misshapen dwarf person emerges from the darkness at the bottom of the stairs. (50 exp)
- Randy starts sketching the fuck out saying that it's an abomination that must be destroyed. It turns out that Randy's dwarf clan has to craft their sons from rock due to the incredible rarity of Dwarven women, and this little guy is an Inclusion -  a rock son that turned out wrong. (50 exp)
- Galaxy offers cash to let the party in and Sir Robyn tries to blag entry via blathered legalese, and finally the party is allowed in if they promise to kill the poisonous spiders plaguing the azoth mining operation. (50 exp)
- They travel in, led by "Gav" the two day old little dwarf thing. Randy waits outside with the horse, unable to face the living dwarven abortions. After traversing a big central corridor, a big white circular door at the end of the hallway is spotted. (50 exp)
- Lots of attempts are made to get through this other mysterious door. Most troublingly, magic fizzles when it touches the door. Runes and spells are equally useless. (50 exp)
- Giving it up for now, especially when Gav tells them that the spiders are the other way, a metal door slides back to reveal a bunch of very strange machines with levers and meters and all sorts. (50 exp)

Inline images 13

- Sir Robyn can't help himself, randomly pulling on levers and stuff before the machine blasts him with scalding steam! Barely avoiding getting some nasty burns, he sends in the invulnerable Mr Scamps to do the same. (50 exp)
- Lots of high pitched boiling sounds, lots of steam, Mr Scamps is thoroughly boiled. The sound attracts unwanted attention - a pack of very large rats integrated with strange machinery. (50 exp)

Inline images 8

- Ratimir forms a bulwark with his swarm of regular rats, biting and scratching at their cyborg brethren but getting munched in their dozens in return. (50 exp)
- There are tons of these robotic rodents. Nix wades through the swarms to grab one and wrestle it into submission, which she manages to do despite some hefty bites (50 exp)
- Galaxy Johnson ignites a magma beam and blasts a chunk of magma into the rats for massive damage! The cyborg rats have had enough of this and flee, leaving Nix to get a good hold of the one she grabbed. (50 exp)
- POWERLAD tinkers with the rat's implants and manages to cut the right wire to deactivate it. The big rat is confused and dazed, but it does tell Ratimir about the machine that built him, bubbling vats and pain. (50 exp)

Inline images 6

- The rat is set free and it staggers off to find somewhere to go recover. Gav tells the party that the spiders are just through the next door past the machine room. (50 exp)
- There's a room slicked with oil, and beyond it more natural-looking caverns covered in spider webs. Sir Robyn calls out in the language of the demon spiders and lo, one approaches. (50 exp)
- It stays back in the shadows, eyes glimmering redly from the ceiling, and Sir Robyn asks if they want help with the dwarf infestation. Tricksy! (50 exp)
- The spider asks how he comes to speak spider despite being a fleshy fleshybag. Sir Robyn blags that he's actually a bee swarm in a human skin, and his friends are leeches. The spider goes off to find its master, the Spawn of Arach-Nacha whose eight eyes can see truth. (50 exp)
- This will evidently be an issue. Gav tells everyone that the spiders are guarding the azoth source and that they hate the fuel being removed. Also they've been killing so many of the dwarfs that they can barely keep up by building more sons. (50 exp)
- The spider returns, and Sir Robyn offers a supply of blood in exchange for "mining rights". Blood honey is offered, and the spider greedily slurps it down... and trips the fuck out! (50 exp)

Inline images 7

- It falls from the ceiling and twitches in ecstasy. The party step over it and walk into the cobweb-covered chamber beyond. This is the furthest in Gav's ever gone. (50 exp)
- He also drops the fact that his kind create new sons by carving them out of rock then pouring a mixture of blood, azoth and clay over their heads. (50 exp)
- The web on the walls and floor isn't particularly sticky, more like candy floss. Some cobweb-covered bodies are looted. In the next area, a pool of water glitters! (50 exp)

Inline images 9

- There's a big pool of the stuff. Initial excitement over having found the azoth is dimmed when it turns out to be just water, but interest is again piqued when Gav says it's True Water. Primordial water which even dissolves moonlight. (50 exp)
- Ratimir chucks a rat in, there is an odd sound and the rat's shape shimmers beneath the surface before darting around and down into the depths. (50 exp)
- The water leaves a strange shimmering rainbow sheen on hands and objects dipped into it. Galaxy Johnson takes a sip and discovers that it makes him feel at full power as though it's a New Moon. (50 exp)

Inline images 10

- Nix, meanwhile, fails her awareness roll and is ambushed from behind by a enormous spider! She falls to the ground, going numb, injected with the dreaded trauma poison of a giant spider. (50 exp)
- Another spider pounces from anoher corridor! Sir Robyn fires off a Faerie Fire, telling the spiders that he'll burn the fucking place down! POWERLAD swings in with a Dragon Punch, summoning a ghostly version of Ninhursag who chomps down on one of the spiders, killing it! (50 exp)
- Andromeda charges at the remaining spider, leaping over Nix's fallen body, but the spider jukes out of the way then sinks its fangs into her side! (50 exp)

Inline images 12

- Nix and Andromeda lie sweating and panicking, poisoned wounds throbbing badly. POWERLAD and Sir Robyn do their Fly + Floating Disk combo to get them out of there. (50 exp)
- Sir Robyn drops a match behind them and the highly oxygenated and azoth-infused air detonates with a low boom, killing the last spider and hopefully more besides. (50 exp)
- POWERLAD lands back in town with a thud, shouting for a medic! The backstory ability to find an ally in the area is used to find someone who has antivenom on them! Life beams are aimed at the two victims to help them survive! (50 exp)
- POWERLAD sobs as Andromeda lies dying in his arms. The antivenom wasn't enough. He leans in close as she fades away to hear her last words... (50 exp)
- "It wasn't the poison that killed me... it was your marriage to Bertha". She dies, bloody froth bubbling from her lips. POWERLAD screams in anguish. (50 exp)
- Galaxy Johnson has meanwhile managed to find some sort of leech demon to suck the poison from Nix. But that, too, fails to work. The leech drains her dry. Nix, too, has fallen. (50 exp)

Inline images 11

- The last sliver of the crescent moon shines down on Muntberg. The silver spheres shimmer in the night sky. Nix and Andromeda are dead. Dwimmermount has claimed its first victims. How the fuck are they meant to save the world now? (50 exp)
Total: 2050 exp

Misc:
- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (100 exp)
- Ace Attorney bonus (100 exp)
- Aggressive Negotiations bonus (100 exp)
- Antagonist Appeaser bonus (100 exp)
- Balls to the Wall bonus (100 exp)
- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)- Classic Charles bonus (50 exp)- Diplomancy bonus (50 exp)- Doolittle bonus (50 exp)- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)- Dramatic Escape bonus (50 exp)- Hard Bargain bonus (50 exp)- High as Fuck bonus (50 exp)- I Immediately Regret This Decision bonus (50 exp)- Kill It With Fire bonus (50 exp)- Ludicrous Gore bonus (50 exp)- Michael Bay bonus (50 exp)- PETA bonus (50 exp)- Poison is OP bonus (50 exp)- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)- Pyrrhic Victory bonus (50 exp)- Ridiculously Bad Rolling bonus (50 exp)- WWE bonus (50 exp)
Total: 1150 exp

Party Roles and Individual Exp:
- Remembrancer (Charles / Galaxy Johnson - 100 exp)
- Caller (James / Ratimir - 100 exp)
- Mapper (Fraser - 100 exp)
- Treasurer (Fraser - 100 exp)
- Quartermaster (Ollie - 100 exp)
- Guard (Timothy / Sir Robyn - 100 exp)
- Tracker (Kitty / POWERLAD - 100 exp)
- Fiction Fanatic bonus (Ollie - 100 exp)
- Art Attack bonus (Charles, Ollie - 100 exp)
- Artapalooza bonus (Charles - 100 exp)
- Attacco d'Arte bonus (Ollie, Charles - 100 exp)
- Chippo Man bonus (Timothy - 200 exp)
- JÜGBRINGYR bonus (Kitty, Ollie, Timothy - 500 exp ea.)
- Death's Witness bonus (All witnesses - 100 exp ea.)
- Famous Last Words bonus (Ollie - 200 exp)
- Tragic Death bonus (Ollie, Fraser - 500 exp ea.)

Active Businesses:
- Bone Alone. Wild. 305sp. (Zena's Stake: 203sp, Carrie's Stake: 102sp)
- Honey Healing. Safe. 2095sp. (Nix's Stake: 1747sp. Bertha's Stake: 348sp)
- Knickers Gloves Bodices. Risky. 1030sp. (Ratimir)
- Blood Honey 4 U. Safe. 505sp. (Sir Robyn)

Rumours:
- -

Death Toll and Injuries:
- Nix Neckbiter, bitten by a giant spider then sucked dry by a giant leech demon in a failed attempt to suck out the venom.
- Andromeda Spiderbite, bitten by a giant spider trying to protect Nix, died from spider venom in POWERLAD's arms.

Exp Totals:
- Fraser / Nix Neckbiter, Level 7 Barbarian: 77036 (Level up at 128000)
*DECEASED*
- Kitty / POWERLAD!, Level 6 Muscle Wizard: 68880 (Level up at 72000)-- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 3 (-15% exp)--- Randy, Level 3 Hench-Dwarf: 4445 (Level up at 8800)*DING!* +1d10 HP! +backstory!
- Charles / Galaxy Johnson, Level 5 Elf (Alpdrucke): 26325 (Level up at 48000)
-- Devotee of Ereshkigal, Bond 2 (-10% exp)- Ollie / Andromeda Spiderbite, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 23405 (Level up at 36000)*DECEASED*
- James / Ratimir, Level 5 Ratman: 20944 (Level up at 24000)- Timothy / Sir Robyn, Level 3 Magic-User: 5494 (Level up at 9000)
*DING!* +1d4 HP! +1 level 2 spell! +free spell! +backstory!
- Fraser / Fraser's Next Character: +1366 exp
- Ollie / Ollie's Next Character: +1766 exp

Absent or Retired:
- Tom / Clarence Eclair, Level 3 Specialist: 3040 (Level up at 6000)
- Tom / Aces Fontaine, Level 1 Specialist: 869 (Level up at 1500)
- Kitty / Bertha, Level 4 Necromancer: 9931 (Level up at 18000)
- Imran / Friar, Level 1 Magic User: 1040 (Level up at 2250)
- Andy / Carrie Meleste, Level 5 Cleric: 25557 (Level up at 28000)
- Yuri / Bjorn Gunnerson, Level 2 Barbarian: 2278 (Level up at 4000)
- Sunni / Larry's Legends, Level 1 Extras: 758 (Level up at 1500)
- Fraser / Tippin, Level 1 Ratman: 1458 (Level up at 1500)
- Charles / Zena, Level 6 Fighter: 41566 (Level up at 64000)
- Tom / Meteor Power Shower, Level 2 Barbarian: 3061 (Level up at 4000)
- Nix's Retainer
--- Huz, Level 0 Hireling
- Tom / Spicy Mac, Level 2 Halfling: 3457 (Level up at 4000)
- Eleanor / Mugg, Level 2 Fighter: 2357 (Level up at 4000)
- Kyle / Gimlass the Brave, Level 2 Dwarf: 2257 (Level up at 4400)
- Amar / Amar's Cleric, Level 1 Cleric: 1413 (Level up at 1750)
- Henry / Henry's Next Character: +2084 exp
- Ollie / Tremendo Picante, Level 2 Ratman: 2654 (Level up at 3000)
- James / Raaf van Held, Level 4 Fighter: 14838 (Level up at 16000)
- Eglė / Bob, Level 1 Dwarf: 434 (Level up at 2200)
- Will / Cecil Fulbright, Level 5 Cleric (Termaxian): 15063 (Level up at 28000)
- James / William Fox-Shitt, Level 3 Cleric (Zeanist): 4571 (Level up at 7000)